Renowned poet/ actor/ crazy person James Franco wrote a poem in honor of President Obama’s second inauguration and it is pretty awful.
Yahoo! News commissioned several renowned poets — plus Franco — to write inauguration poems à la “The Gift Outright,” Robert Frost’s famous poem written for John F. Kennedy’s 1961 inauguration.
Shockingly, it turns out that Franco is no Robert Frost. Here is an excerpt from “Obama in Asheville”:
I met Obama once, in D.C., the Correspondents’ Dinner.
I was the guest of Vanity Fair, guided through D.C. by the wife
Of Christopher Hitchens, when he was alive. We went to Hitch’s place,
He had books from floor to ceiling, and said he had read
To Borges, when he was blind, Old Icelandic Eddas—
Then we waited in a private room with the likes of Tom Cruise,
And Katie Holmes, and Claire Danes. When Obama entered
The crowd converged. Finally, I got to shake his hand,
He knew me from Spider-Man. I asked him for advice,
I was scheduled to give the commencement speech at UCLA
And there were some undergraduate knockers against me;
He had been denied the usual honorary degree by Arizona State
Because he hadn’t accomplished enough, so I wondered
How he dealt with detractors. He smiled his smile and said,
The best parts is the total non sequitur when Franco casually mentions his favorite place to get a burrito in Asheville, N.C.
You can watch Franco read his work in what appears to be a hostage video if you really want to: