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1.) Mark Sanford is Thomas Jefferson – Really, the two are virtually indistinguishable. TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports:
“Mark Sanford says he’s not a career politician, as any student of Thomas Jefferson would know. … Perhaps the most vehement attack on the former governor has been that he is a career politician, a dirty slur in today’s political scene. Sanford rejects the idea that having spent 14 of the past 18 years in some kind of elected federal office makes him a ‘career politician.’ Rather, in a phone interview with The Daily Caller, he likened his participation in politics to that of Thomas Jefferson. ‘You know, I went to the University of Virginia, and everybody becomes a big fan of Thomas Jefferson there. He spent 34 years of his life in and out of public life. I don’t think anybody would describe Thomas Jefferson as a career politician,’ Sanford said.”
How outrageous, right? Who could possibly think that someone who has only spent 78% of the last 18 years in elective office is a career politician? And Jefferson is the perfect comparison to Sanford, too. They have so much in common. For instance, Thomas Jefferson once stood on what is now named the Jefferson Rock on the Appalachian Trail and declared the view was so beautiful that “this scene is worth a voyage across the Atlantic.” Sanford also has a memorable history with the Appalachian Trail. While he didn’t stand on any rock and proclaim the beauty of the trail, he did pretend he was hiking it when he escaped to Argentina during his time as governor to have a romantic week with his mistress. Let the hashtag begin here: #Sanford=Jefferson.
2.) George W. Bush is Winston Churchill … and Hugo Chavez – W. is apparently a historically good artist, reports TheDC’s Eric Owens:
“When F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, ‘There are no second acts in American lives,’ he obviously had not contemplated George W. Bush. As you may know, W. has taken up painting. What you may not know is how good he has allegedly become, or how quickly. Just ask his painting teacher, Bonnie Flood. WAGA-TV in Atlanta tracked her down, and she positively gushed about her most famous pupil. ‘He has such a passion for painting, it’s amazing,’ Flood told the Atlanta Fox affiliate. ‘He’s going to go down in the history books as a great artist.’”
You know who was also considered a pretty good amateur artist? None other than the great Winston Churchill. And it is a little known fact that, like Bush, Churchill was a wartime leader. In other words, they were basically the same person. That’s not all. The recently departed Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez also painted and according to fanboy Sean Penn, his art wasn’t half bad. As for W.’s art being remembered by history, let’s just say that all three of the aforementioned artist-leaders will go down in the history books, but one doubts any of them will primarily be remembered for their art.
3.) Keep it simple, stupid – BREAKING: Business people don’t like complicated government paper work. The Daily Caller News Foundation’s Betsi Fores reports:
“As lawmakers contemplate tax reform, a new survey of small businesses suggests owners want lower rates and fewer deductions. ‘More than half (52 percent) of small businesses believe that simplifying the tax code should be a top priority out of all potential revision options,’ a survey conducted by the National Federation of Independent Business found. An overwhelming majority of small businesses, 85 percent of those polled, want to see an overhaul of the tax code; 78 percent of those polled prefer a tax code with less preferential treatment.”
Also, robbers don’t like locked doors.
4.) #Wackobirds – A lot of people appear to have a lot of time on their hands. TheDC’s Patrick Howley reports:
“Republican Arizona Sen. John McCain’s characterization of conservative Republican legislators as ‘wacko birds’ has set off a social media firestorm replete with a surging #wackobirds Twitter hashtag and a new genre of ‘wacko birds’-inspired Internet artwork. …Since McCain’s remark, Amash has been using his Twitter account to help boost the growing #wackobirds hashtag, which numerous conservatives and libertarians have latched onto to proclaim themselves fellow ‘wacko birds.’ Many users have also switched their Twitter names to incorporate the term ‘Wackobird,’ including ‘Wackobird Amy,’ ‘Wacko Bird Jones‘ and ‘WackoBird Mike.’ One new Twitter account called ‘WackoBird‘ declares that it was ‘hatched from the minds of RINO’s,’ which stands for Republicans in Name Only, while another promises ’official tweets from Republican Wacko Birds.’”
6.) Today in North Korean News – BREAKING: “Kim Jong Il’s Loving Care for Women”