Ann Coulter

Mark Sanford is the Todd Akin of South Carolina

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Ann Coulter
Political Commentator

I had barely left the stage at CPAC when Republicans did the exact thing I told them not to do.

Contrary to giddy liberals writing the obituary of the Republican Party, the nation has not swung left. Republicans just keep losing easy races through unforced errors. I advised them to stop doing that.

Not two days later, in the Republican primary for Tim Scott’s old congressional seat from South Carolina, among the top two finalists was Mark Sanford, the Todd Akin of South Carolina. You would think Akin would stand in history to teach Republicans to stop giving away winnable seats by running ridiculous candidates. Alas, no.

What’s next? A Republican candidate whose campaign consists exclusively of demanding vaginal probes and discussing different types of rape?

If, in some horrible twist of fate that’s been stalking Republicans, Sanford wins the runoff, he will lose the general election. Worse, he might win, making Republicans look like utter hypocrites on family values.

In any event, so many resources will have to be diverted to save an easy Republican House seat that even if Sanford wins, some other Republican candidate will lose a close election after having to beg for money.

And the payoff is: Yay! We win one of the most Republican districts in the country with a high-risk candidate!

The Republican Party owes Sanford nothing. He had a chance and he blew it. National Review wasted five years of cover stories on how awesome he was, but he never accomplished anything of substance.

He showed off about getting his hair done at Super Cuts, sleeping in his office in Congress and not turning on the air conditioning in the governor’s mansion. He wore the same pair of shoes for 30 years — they’ve been re-soled 70 times!

Big deal. He saved taxpayers $300 in petty cash, but he didn’t implement any lasting reforms.

The most memorable thing Sanford did in his entire life was to make himself a laughingstock as governor by running off with his Argentine honey and then going on TV to announce — in front of his wife and children — “I’ve fallen in love!”

Republicans need to be like Luca Brasi and tell Sanford: “You screwed up; we didn’t do anything to you. Have fun, I’m sure Maria’s fantastic, but you can’t run for Congress.”

We don’t have to use every campaign trick of the Democrats — vote fraud and character assassination— but one thing we could learn from them is to stop letting idiots destroy our party.

Democrats don’t reward candidates who hurt them. Where’s John Edwards’ comeback campaign? If you so much as mention his name on MSNBC, they’ll cut to a commercial break.

Where’s Howard Dean’s TV show? The only place that would employ Dennis Kucinich is Fox News. (That is, as soon as Keebler lets him out of his contract.)

There are no benefits to damaging the Democratic Party.