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1.) America the crazy beautiful — America is made up of some truly eccentric people. TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein reports:
“Some Americans are batshit crazy, a new poll suggests. According to a Public Policy Polling (PPP) survey, 28 percent of American voters believe ‘that a secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government, or New World Order.’ … Perhaps most surprisingly, only four percent of American voters said they believe shape-shifting lizard people ‘control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies.’ In the lead-up to November’s presidential election, a major satirical expose by Daily Caller editors Jamie Weinstein and Will Rahn, ‘The Lizard King,’ revealed that President Obama himself was shape-shifting lizard man.”
It’s hard to say if there really are this many Alex Joneses in America, or whether a lot of Americans like to have fun with pollsters.
2.) Luxury in a time of austerity — The White House is having a party, TheDC’s Patrick Howley reports:
“President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle will host a star-studded roster of music legends April 9 for another glitzy installment in the ‘In Performance at the White House’ concert series, according to a White House press released issued Tuesday. The concert comes as the White House is emphasizing cuts caused by sequestration and criticizing reporters for not paying enough attention to the hardship caused by the mandatory slowdown in the rate of spending increases. Though the White House notably canceled all visitor tours in March, ostensibly due to sequestration, the first couple’s series of White House concerts — billed as ‘the nation’s highest honor for popular song’ — manages to survive. Al Green, Ben Harper, Queen Latifah, Justin Timberlake and Booker T. Jones are among the performers confirmed for the event.”
TheDC Morning is so outraged that it will only beg the White House for one ticket instead of two.
3.) Mark Sanford reborn — Or how Americans have attention spans of 3-seconds. TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports:
“Mark Sanford is one step closer to a political comeback. On Tuesday night, the former South Carolina governor — who left the governorship in 2010 surrounded by scandal after he admitted to an affair with an Argentine woman — won a runoff to become the Republican nominee in South Carolina’s special congressional election. … He will face off against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch, sister of comedian Stephen Colbert, in what is expected to be a competitive race. Colbert Busch has been a successful fundraiser thus far, and in a poll conducted by Democratic firm Public Policy Polling last week, she led Sanford 47 percent to 45 percent, a lead within the margin of error.”
Is this where the Appalachian Trail ends? Or does it go all the way to Congress?
4.) Illegal no more — America used to have an estimated 11 million illegal immigrants. According to the AP, we now have zero. TheDC’s Alex Pappas reports:
“The Associated Press says it is no longer appropriate for reporters to use the term ‘illegal immigrant.’ The organization announced that its AP Stylebook — the language and grammar guide used by news organizations across the country — will immediately stop approving the phrase. ‘The Stylebook no longer sanctions the term ‘illegal immigrant’ or the use of ‘illegal’ to describe a person,’ senior vice president and executive editor Kathleen Carroll said in a post Tuesday on the AP website. ‘Instead, it tells users that ‘illegal’ should describe only an action, such as living in or immigrating to a country illegally.'”
6.) Today in North Korean News — BREAKING: “Title of Honorary Citizenship of Nigeria Awarded to Kim Jong Un”