BEDFORD: Obama loses war on women
At a Thursday fundraiser, President Barack Obama told a crowd that California Attorney General Kamala Harris “is brilliant and she is dedicated and she is tough, and she is exactly what you’d want in anybody who is administering the law, and making sure that everybody is getting a fair shake. She also happens to be by far the best-looking attorney general in the country.”
And good on him for saying so.
On Friday, however, he said he was sorry.
So next time some snarky undergrad says that Mr. Obama has never actually apologized for America, we’re going to tell that kid the president of the United States is so sorry — he’s sorry that his successful, powerful American friend looks good.
He’s so sorry, he called Ms. Harris on the phone to say so. He’s so sorry, his spokesman told the world that he made that call. He’s so sorry, cable news covered his sorry self for an entire afternoon.
Meanwhile, in North Korea, the Pillsbury Doughboy is priming his missiles, and it seems like the good people at The Daily Caller may be the only thing standing between America and oblivion. Because here — here at TheDC — we won’t apologize for our values (mainly, thinking women look good). Because here — here in America — we’ll make our stand.
See, the Western tradition of admiration for a beautiful woman is an ancient and wonderful thing. While the Mohammedans like to wrap their women up in black sacks, we glorify them. From the Vatican to the Louvre, we deck the halls with them. And if it’s OK with the pope, it’s OK with us.
And before anyone says the United States’ Puritan tradition makes us any different from il Papa, take a gander at the fountain in front of the Library of Congress: The female forms on that are such a motivation that we plan our runs past it so about halfway through our grind, we’re reminded why we run in the first place.
Now, we understand why some ugly people would not like this fact. But the truth is folks can’t always get what they want. Take us, for example: We wish that we could live in a world where men were judged solely by how many articles they wrote instead of how many touchdowns they scored; where women appreciated us simply for how much steak we can crush in one sitting (a lot), instead of objectifying our athletic ability (a lot less). We mean, we’re human beings — not objects. But hey, this is the world we live in, and while TheDC may make that world a whole lot better, we don’t define it. Yet.
Mr. President, the truth is since before Helen of Troy, Western leaders have had crushes. And while some take it too far, a compliment is not something to apologize for. Though to be honest, we should have seen this crap coming when those professional outragers flipped at Brent Musburger for saying that the quarterback’s pretty girlfriend was pretty.
Ms. Harris is a very accomplished lady. She’s attorney general of the country’s largest state. That’s why Mr. Obama called her “brilliant,” ‘dedicated,” “tough,” and “exactly what you’d want in anybody who is administering the law, and making sure that everybody is getting a fair shake.” He also called her pretty.
Now, if we had our way, we’d have pointed out that she’s is “brilliant [at looting banks], and she is dedicated [to progressive decline], and she is tough, and she is exactly what you’d want in anybody who is administering the [overbearing] law [in a third-rate hell hole that would benefit greatly from a tidal wave].” The pretty part, we couldn’t improve on.
So if it’s shame on Mr. Obama, it’s shame on America and everything good that came before that. And we at TheDC, for one, won’t take that sitting down. As the Scottish hero Mel Gibson once said, they can take our lives, but they can never take our appreciation for beauty.
And at least Mr. Musburger isn’t too sorry.