The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

MSNBC stinks

Right, right, but I mean specifically in the ratings. Even worse than usual.

I don’t usually like to link to HuffPo, because it’s HuffPo, but I also greatly enjoy schadenfreude. And schadenfreude always wins. Take it away, Arianna’s Angels:

MSNBC got some very tough ratings news on Wednesday.

Another month of big crime and disaster news saw the network struggle to keep up with rivals CNN, HLN and Fox News. MSNBC was presumably expecting some dropoff from its 2012 numbers, since that was an election year, but it still landed in fourth place behind the other channels, a victim of HLN’s Jodi Arias-fueled surge and of President Obama’s scandal-ridden, defensive month. Overall, MSNBC saw its lowest total day viewer numbers since 2007, and its lowest prime time numbers since 2009.

Yay! Ha ha ha!!! But wait-wait-wait, check it out, check it out:

MSNBC’s prime time numbers were down across the board. Rachel Maddow delivered what the Hollywood Reporter said were her lowest total viewing figures in her show’s history, and she even fell behind timeslot rival Piers Morgan—a very rare victory for the CNN host. Chris Hayes also delivered sharply lower ratings than the man he replaced, Ed Schultz, did in 2012. Both of them, along with hosts from Chris Matthews to Al Sharpton to Martin Bashir, landed in fourth place in their timeslots—a marked change from their normal second-place status.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Gee, I wonder why MSNBC’s ratings stink like rotten fish mixed with doo-doo and other things that don’t smell good? Jeff Poor provides one clue:

MSNBC spent nearly triple the time on Bachmann resignation of FNC and CNN combined

Now that’s some riveting cable news programming.

You know how you can pull yourselves out of the ratings toilet, MSNBC? Go even further to the left. Enough of this 99% crap. Go full commie! Quit pretending to have any patience for free markets or liberty or any of that stuff you hate. Quit hinting around about it, and openly call for your ideological opponents to be imprisoned and put to death. Make your lies even more outrageous and laughable to anybody who’s been paying attention. Own your communism. Own it!

Make this your new theme music:

Ratings success can be yours if you just follow your shriveled little hearts, MSNBC. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

We believe in you.