The do’s and don’t’s of getting to the Hamptons this July 4 [SLIDESHOW]

If you are heading from New York City to the Hamptons this Fourth of July, well, you should already be there by now.

A person of your station shouldn’t be working peasant hours at a 9-to-5 office job. People like you take the whole week off from work and delegate via iPhone from the comfort of your East Hampton beach chair.

However, if for some reason you couldn’t get out of the city early, there are some acceptable last-minute options for traveling to Long Island.

Here are the best ways to get to the Hamptons this holiday weekend. (Whatever you do, do not take the Jitney. It is so déclassé.)

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  • If you are okay with being your own chauffer, rent a car. The car must be vintage, must be a convertible and should be painted red.
  • If for some reason Uber is out of helicopters AND SUVs AND town cars, you may have to resort to taking a taxi. It will be more private than the train, but just as filthy and plebeian.
  • The next best way to roll up to your Hamptons manse is by limo, preferably a Hummer limo. Nothing says "I'm really rich" than driving into your beach community in a limo.
  • Do NOT, under any circumstances, take the Hamptons jitney. Just don't. You're better off staying in the city.
  • The Long Island Railroad isn't the best option, but it is an option. Cons: There is no first or business class, so you will have to sit next to all the Brooklynites going to Montauk. Pro: You may beat some traffic. Just make sure there is a limo or town car to pick you up from the train station.
  • The third best way to get out to the Hamptons is by Uber car. If you missed your chance to take the helicopter, just order up a black car and get the driver to take you all the way to the Hamptons. Forget the peak hours fees, you are a baller. (Photo credit should read PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images)
  • Obviously, the best way to get to the Hamptons is by Uber helicopter. Just use your Uber app to order a black car that will pick you up and take you to the nearest heliport. From there, a helicopter will take you to the East Hampton airport. All this costs a measly $3,000 for five passengers, which to you is pocket change. (Photo by Allan Tannenbaum-Pool/Getty Images)

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