The Daily Caller presents: The first annual Elementary and Middle School Stupidity Awards

The dog days of summer have provided a nice opportunity to commemorate the academic year that was in various ways. For example, The Daily Caller’s College Stupidity Awards provided an impressive collection of folly and futility. The High School Stupidity Awards also offered sad-but-comical amusement.

However nothing — nothing — compares to the lunacy and outrageously cringe-worthy poor judgment on display, mostly by teachers and administrators, at America’s elementary schools and middle schools in 2012-13.

Park Elementary School (Baltimore, Md.): Dumbest suspension for a breakfast pastry that isn’t a gun

Second-grader Josh Welch was suspended for two days because his teacher thought he shaped a poptart into something resembling a gun. Welch’s goal had been to turn it into a mountain, but that didn’t materialize. School officials later denied an appeal to have the suspension expunged from the boy’s permanent record. There is good news, though. The National Rifle Association granted the seven-year-old a free lifetime membership. (RELATED: Second-grader suspended for having breakfast pastry shaped like a gun)

Chicago Public Schools: Most officious use of little kids as props by Michelle Obama

Courageous Chicago fifth-grade teacher Lisa Putnam wrote a scathing critique of the almost comical misery her students endured during a massive February 28 event kicking off Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! Active Schools campaign. There was a three-hour wait — in straight lines — in the morning, Putnam explained. “Then imagine after one hour of ‘fun’ that they have to sit around and wait for three more hours that bus to pick them up. Oh, did I mention that are not allowed to have a morsel of food the entire time?” On the bright side, Obama’s crack staff gave the 10-year-olds free “XL men’s t-shirts.” (RELATED: Let’s starve! Kids forced to go hungry for hours during Michelle Obama media event)

Roscoe R. Nix Elementary School (Silver Spring, Md.): Dumbest suspension for a kid using an opposable thumb

A suburban Washington, D.C. family retained legal counsel after their six-year-old son was suspended from school for one day for making a gun gesture with his thumb and forefinger, pointing at another student and saying “pow.” The boy made the universal kid sign for a gun a week after 20-year-old Adam Lanza massacred 20 young children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School. School officials later reversed and expunged the suspension from the kid’s permanent record. (RELATED: Maryland school suspends six-year-old boy for making gun gesture, saying ‘pow’)