DC Trawler

Are you ready for a Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton sex tape?

Well… technically. Move over, Anthony Weiner. Time for the original wang-dangler to step back into the spotlight!

Radar Online (I know) is saying that the National Enquirer (I know) has obtained an audiotape that Lewinsky recorded for Slick Willie back in Nov. ’97:

A sex tape that Monica Lewinsky recorded for Bill Clinton at the height of their scandalous affair has leaked, during which the former White House intern is heard planning a secret sexual rendezvous with the president and declaring she is “too cute and adorable” to be ignored.

On the audio tape obtained by The National Enquirer, Lewinsky at one point tries to seduce the commander in chief: “I could take my clothes off and start… well… I know you wouldn’t enjoy that? I hope to see you later and I hope you will follow my script and do what I want…”

On it, she tells the 42nd President: “Since I know you will be alone tomorrow evening, I have two proposals for you, neither of which is you not seeing me.”

Lewinsky then orders the leader of the free world to use his secretary, Betty Currie, as a go-between and plan the presidential schedule so they could covertly meet without a formal record of her visit.

“Now the first thing that has to happen is that you need to pre-plan with Betty that you will leave the office at, I don’t know, at 7, 7:30 so that everyone else who hates me that causes me lots of trouble goes home,” she tells Clinton.

“Then you quickly sneak back and then in the meantime I quickly sneak over and then we can have a nice little visit for, you know, 15 minutes or half an hour. Whatever you want…”

The tape and other racy mementoes, including love letters Lewinsky wrote to Clinton, were obtained by an individual who was hired as a “cleaner” by individuals close to Lewinsky.

Read the whole thing. Sounds like the “cleaner” held onto the trash.

I’m sure minds more devious than my own are already speculating on why this stuff would be surfacing now, in the middle of that other scandal Hillary’s dealing with. Would Team Hillary actually leak this? Does it help her by distracting from Weiner’s (ahem) mess? Is this information safe enough to release 15 years later — it’s not like Lewinsky is news anymore — yet salacious enough to get dumb bloggers like me interested? Am I playing right into the hands of the Butcher of Benghazi?

It also makes Lewinsky sound like more of an active participant than I’d thought she was, which is good for ol’ Hill…

I dunno. All I know is that I feel very, very happy inside. Guess I must be part of that “War on Women”!

And before you dismiss it because it’s from the National Enquirer… Ask John Edwards how that one worked out for him.