TheDC Morning

TheDC Morning: AT&Terrorist

Jamie Weinstein Senior Writer
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1.) AT&Terrorist — Apparently even terrorists have conference calls. Charles Rollet reports for TheDC:

“The closing of U.S. diplomatic posts in 19 countries across the Middle East and Africa was based on CIA interception of an al-Qaida conference call so massive it was compared to a meeting of the ‘Legion of Doom’ by an intelligence official, according to an anonymously-sourced article in The Daily Beast. More than 20 al-Qaida representatives from affiliates around the world took part in the conference call, with less well-known groups from Nigeria, Uzbekistan and the Sinai Peninsula participating, the article read. The recent U.S. terror warning was supposedly based on a promotion that occurred during the conference call in which al-Qaida’s leader Ayman Zawahiri promoted Nasser al Wuhaysi, the head of its Yemen affiliate, to a ‘general manager’ of sorts. This gave him effective control of al-Qaida’s many franchises — a key reason in the State Department’s decision to close embassies across the region.”

Have these fellas not been reading The Guardian? We’re pretty good at tapping these phone calls. Unless it was all an elaborate deception. Who knows? But instead of just intercepting the call, it would have been nice to have launched a couple dozen missiles around the world while the call was in process and delivered these bastards to their much longed-for celestial orgy.

2.) MEA CULPA! — Yesterday, TheDC’s Patrick Howley published a story listing five writers that new Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos should fire immediately. Howley has since corrected the piece to note that he should have included WaPo writer Erik Wemple. Howley writes: 

“Standing six-foot-eight and weighing in at 287 pounds, with a blonde crew cut and a gap-toothed smile, Wemple should barely be working at a mid-level brokerage firm, let alone the Washington Post. A Red Bull-chugging, stress ball-squeezing fellow who probably yells ‘Boom’ after successfully throwing rolled-up paper into trash cans, Wemple is the big dog in a genre of local media reporting populated almost exclusively by 24-year old women (‘Hey, I’m not complaining, bro,’ he’d likely say while offering a sweaty high-five). If Bezos has an ounce of business sense, he’ll send this Hamilton College frat-uncle back to the Buffalo Wild Wings bar area to whistle at waitresses and reminisce about the time he scooped Fishbowl on the news that City Paper would be adding more print ads.”

TheDC Morning has spoken to Howley and he is heartbroken over the initial omission. He promises such mistakes won’t be repeated.

3.) Fair for thee, not for me — This may not sit well with many Americans. TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports:

“Members of Congress and Hill staffers will not lose their health-care subsidies from the government when Obamacare is implemented because of an exception proposed Wednesday by the Office of Personnel Management. Under the current system, the government covers most of the cost of health-care premiums for members and their staffers. But an amendment to the Affordable Care Act — proposed by Iowa Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley — threw those subsidies into question, saying that members and staff must enter into the exchanges or be covered by insurance ‘created’ by law. The potential for staff losing the subsidies led to concerns of “brain drain” from the Hill if staffers left as a result of the increased costs.”

4.) America’s gonna be alright — Some say America is in decline, but so long as we have young people who can freestyle a rap while a SWAT team prepares to bust down their door and arrest them, we may be OK after all. The Daily Caller News Foundation’s Greg Campbell reports:

“When a veritable army of heavily armed SWAT cops surrounded Josh Jackson’s house in Fort Collins, Colo., late Monday night, the 19-year-old suspect — wanted for allegedly threatening his roommate with a knife — saw an opportunity for a little improvisational creativity. Jackson, an aspiring rapper who goes by the name Adequate Advocate, recorded a song called ‘police are trying to murder me as I write this’ as the police were literally creeping up on his house to storm inside. On a video recording of the song shot in what appears to be his bedroom during the standoff, Jackson seems to keep his composure remarkably well while singing about the hellstorm of law enforcement gathering outside his very door.”

Sure, Jackson’s rhymes aren’t very good and his rapper name is even worse. But practice makes perfect and when he gets better, he can change his name from Adequate Advocate to Exceptional Exponent.

5.) Tweet of Yesterday — David Burge: Obama: 4.0 at Harvard Law School. Putin: 4.0 at KGB Poison Umbrella School.

6.) Today in North Korean News –BREAKING: “Greetings to President of Cote d’Ivoire”

AUDIO: ESPN host mocks conservative Texans as ‘hypocrites’ for defending Johnny Football

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Jamie Weinstein