Study: People who have more sex have more money

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Patrick Howley
Political Reporter

Science has now provided us a direct statistical link between a person’s bank account and a person’s level of sexual activity.

Human beings having sex at least four times a week make more money than those who don’t have sex four times a week, according to a study conducted by Germany’s Institute for the Study of Labor. Additionally, people having any sex at all fare better financially than people who have no sex.

“People need to love and be loved (sexually and non-sexually) by others. In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and depression that could affect their working life,” economist Nick Drydakis, the study’s author, told

But couldn’t it be the other way around?

Evidence also suggests that people who make a lot of money are far likelier to have sex at least four times a week, according to Daily Caller observation of urban nightlife and general common sense.

So, what comes first, the money or the sex?

Either way, it seems that science has now officially confirmed what everybody already knew: there are people who make a lot of money and get laid a lot, and there are people who don’t make a lot of money and get fake-numbered at hotel bars at sales conventions. That’s how it is.

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