Barack Obama: the first female president

Discipline. “There is a deep down, underneath all the work I do, I think there’s a laziness in me,” Obama told Barbara Walters in 2011. We still don’t know what grades Obama got at Columbia.

Self-reliance. Obama is a poster child for affirmative action. Rather than relying on his own wit or intelligence, he gamed the system, getting into schools and getting jobs — including the one he has now — that he is clearly unqualified for. He may be the only president who has never run a business or been in the military or had a private sector job.

Honor. There is no greater test of honor than how a person reacts in the heat of battle when his fellow countrymen are in danger. In the Benghazi debacle, President Obama has been AWOL since the night of the attack, when no one knows where he was. To say nothing of the lies that have followed from the administration to provide political cover.

Industry. In his sixty years, Theodore Roosevelt was: a police commissioner, a state legislator, and the governor of New York, president of the United States. He wrote over thirty-five books, worked on a cattle ranch, fought in the Spanish-American War, won the Nobel Prize and navigated an uncharted Amazonian river. Barack Obama gets compared to Moses when he sinks a basketball shot. But then, deep down he’s lazy.

Resolution. Did I mention the 129 “present” votes? The only thing President Obama seems resolute is defending positions that are morally repulsive. He is a radical extremist on abortion, the most anti-woman act imaginable, and will not call radical Islam radical Islam. He is, however, resolute in making sure that Catholic institutions pay for contraception. On that there can be no compromise.

Manliness. This a catch-all term the authors of Manvotionals use. It means the act of being a man when all the virtues have come together. Again, it has nothing to do with liking football or scratching yourself or dominating people — in fact, being a bully is the opposite of being a man. Real men like arts and kindness and peaceful resolutions to problems (as long as we win the negotiation — see Ronald Wilson Reagan, Soviet Union). But when it comes time to cast an important vote with profound moral implications, or defend your ship or your country against an evil enemy, a man is ready to throw down. At these times, Obama ducks out or reacts with puerile resentment or flies to academic abstraction. I mean, what would Michelle think?