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‘Breaking Bad’ recap: Someone’s not going to make it out of the desert alive

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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“Breaking Bad” was so intense and anxiety-inducing last night that I could not focus enough to sit down and write the recap immediately afterwards and had to wait until this morning to do it. That, and I had to watch the Cowboys/ Giants game.

But seriously. The fourth-to-last episode in the series, “To’hajiilee,” was the most riveting “Breaking Bad” episode so far. I realize that I write a variation of that sentence every week, but it just keeps getting more and more suspenseful that the next one just keeps topping the last, so bear with me. Next week the headline will probably be something like “OMG ‘BREAKING BAD’ HEAD EXPLOSION” and there might not be a recap the following week because I keeled over from the suspense.

The episode started with Todd (ugh, TODD) trying to cook meth but the batch was just a measly 76 percent pure. Since Heisenberg’s blue meth was always 99 percent pure, Lydia is not happy. Neither are the Czechs. They need Walt and they need him badly. I am not quite sure what the deal is with Todd and his icky fascination with Lydia’s teacup lipstick, but it is definitely weird. Todd is so creepy.

We then backtrack to last week’s episode with Walt in his car telling Todd that he has another job for his uncle. “There is just one target,” he says. “Jesse Pinkman.” OH. SNAP.

Hank, Gomez and Jesse are all plotting the best way to lure Walt to his buried money in the desert. Their brilliant scheme to stage Jesse’s death and get Huell to spill the beans about the barrels of money was borderline ridiculous, but it worked. (Side note: Was it illegal for Hank to show Huell that photo of a “dead” Jesse? Just curious, not that it really matters because Hank isn’t going to last too much longer anyway.)

Walt tells the Nazis that he will pay them as much money as they want to take out Jesse. But they don’t want money, they want Walt to cook meth, something that he does not want to do.

Hank, Gomie and Jesse then take a photo of a phony barrel of money to convince Walt that they have uncovered his stash and he ends up leading them right to  To’hajiilee, the first place Walt and Jesse ever cooked meth and where his fortune is buried. Once Walt realizes that they aren’t there and never knew where they money was, he calls Todd and the Nazis to come and take out Jesse — and even says he will cook meth for them if they come to his rescue.

But Walt didn’t know that Hank was with Jesse. When Walt sees Hank limp out of the SUV, you can see the pain in his face. He does not want anything bad to happen to his brother-in-law; he is family, after all. It turns out that Walt really does still care about that. Bryan Cranston was so excellent in that scene — you can see the exact moment that he surrenders in his eyes. Walt then calls the Nazis and tells them that the job is a no-go.

What happens next is something that I certainly did not expect Walt to ever do. He walks toward Hank and Gomez with his hands in the air, ready to be taken to jail.

Not so fast! This is “Breaking Bad” we’re dealing with here.

Despite Walt’s orders, the Nazis roll up with heavy artillery and aim directly at Hank and Gomez. Walt may have called off the job, but they need their blue meth. Walt screams from the inside of the SUV for them to stop, but he is unable to get out of the car because he is in handcuffs.

A classic Mexican standoff between the police and the bad guys ensues and both sides start firing away at each other. Only the bad guys are the ones with the machine guns.

HOW ARE THERE ONLY THREE MORE EPISODES?!

Other notable moments:

  • Hank is a goner, I presume. I don’t think he will be able to escape a machine gun, since he already escaped the machete twins. The phone call he made to Marie served as a goodbye. (But, really, what do I know?)
  • Todd’s black and red shirt he wore when he was cooking the meth was nearly identical to Jesse’s.
  • Poor Huell!
  • Better call Saul for the best one-liners in town. Walt Jr.: “What happened to your face?” Saul: “Occupational hazard.”
  • I got the chills after Hank read Walt his Miranda rights and asks if he understands. Walt looks straight into Jesse’s eyes and says, “Coward.”
  • I didn’t have the fainest idea what Walt’s machine gun was for in the flash-foward at the beginning of season five, but now since I predict Hank is going to be persona non grata, it’s for the Nazis or the Czechs. Or both.

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