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Girl who got punched in head gives lame liberal speech humanizing her attackers [VIDEO]

Phoebe Connolly, who was punched in the face and laughed at by a group of teenagers playing the random and sometimes fatal “Knockout” game in my own obscenely terrible neighborhood of Columbia Heights in Washington, D.C., appeared with Greta Van Susteren Wednesday night to describe her ordeal.

At the end of her segment, Connolly used her platform to ramble on in a ridiculous, naive and distinctly Gen-Y speech about the importance of youth programs.

“I ultimately, I’ve moved past it and I really have no hard feelings about what has happened. And I just see it as another reason why we need to better support our youth with activities and youth programs, which is actually what I do for work, and it’s great to see teenagers do incredible things when they’re supported and empowered,” Connolly said.

Yeah, those kids didn’t seem at all “empowered.”

For the record, this woman got viciously punched in the head for no apparent reason. She also lives in a crappy apartment like many of us in this economy, according to the background of her Skype shot.

And yet she still holds the kind of liberal guilt that convinces her, against all evidence to the contrary, that she is infinitely more privileged than the vicious teenagers who inexplicably assaulted her in an act of pure evil. She still cannot say something along the lines of, “Put these kids in jail and throw away the key.”

No. Of course not. She has to talk about youth programs, because games of pickup four-square moderated by college resume-padding suburbanites are, like, transformational and will totally prevent kids from engaging in the kinds of random brutality that is tearing apart our inner cities every day in a crisis of unprecedented proportions.

And, while we’re at it, why does Phoebe assume that these kids need more support from “youth” programs? What about them, Phoebe, tells you that these kids are just diamonds-in-the-rough suffering from the consequences of income inequality?

Did your attacker say “I really wish a responsible adult would listen to me” before he cold-cocked you? Did he have a little poem in his shirt pocket that he was really hoping an inspirational teacher would let him read to the class before he split your face open with one blow?

No, actually the kid who punched you yelled “Wapow” before his friends laughed, according to your segment.

Is this what we’re becoming as a country? Violent hooligans run rampant in our streets like out of some kind of dystopian fantasy and we all have to “move past” it and appreciate that they just need some more pointless after-school activities mostly funded by wasted taxpayer dollars that could have gone to police budgets?

More importantly, I think the question here is why do Ted Cruz and the Koch Brothers seethe with such hatred for underprivileged children that they don’t want to allocate billions in federal subsidies so that our young felons can have some Master’s degree moron read them “Goodnight, Moon”?

Just remember: the delinquents committing unspeakable acts of atrocity that fly in the face of decency, civility, and humanity itself are the real victims here.

Thanks, Phoebe, for that very special message. I certainly feel empowered.

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