Amazon’s new original program, “Alpha House,” is a quick-witted comedy about the trials and tribulations of four fictional Republican senators who share a D.C. townhouse.
Though Mark Consuelos, one of its stars, reassured that the show would be an ‘equal opportunity’ offender, that has not turned out to be the case. Five episodes in, the show has exclusively thrown jabs at conservatives — and absolutely none at liberals.
“Alpha House’”s main characters are:
Senator Gil John Biggs (R-NC): a mainstream, long-serving senator who was formerly a legendary coach at UNC. He faces a primary challenge from a Tea Partier Duke coach. Played by John Goodman.
Senator Robert Bettencourt (R-PA): an African-American senator, Bettencourt faces re-election and a looming ethics violations probe. Played by Clark Johnson.
Senator Louis Laffer (R-NV): a soft-spoken Mormon, Laffer is apparently ‘in the closet’ and struggling with his public image. He faces a primary challenge from a John-Wayne-type Tea Partier. Played by Matt Malloy.
Senator Andy Guzman (R-FL): a Cuban-American freshman senator from Miami, Guzman is ambitious, smooth-talking, and a hopeless womanizer. Played by Mark Consuelos.
Allow me to walk you through some of the jabs taken at Republicans, in order of appearance (including all five episodes aired to date). Spoilers ahead.
a) Laffer is presented with an award by the “The Council for Normal Marriage.” Yes, that’s the organization’s name. The award? The 2012, “Say No To Sodomy Award.” Seriously. The other ‘joke’ is, of course, that Laffer is fighting his apparent homosexuality while outwardly trumpeting socially conservative values. Isn’t the closeted social conservative joke a bit stale and trite?
b) During a Republican filibuster against a ‘clean energy’ act, there is an elderly Republican senator speaking on the floor, who says:
Mr. President, the American people know junk science when they see it. A few polar bears who can’t hack the swim back to their ice packs does not constitute proof that man-made C02 causes global warming! That’s just natural selection in action! Do you think every one of God’s creations made it onto the Arc? Hell no! … What we need is good jobs and that comes from fossil fuels!
The result here is to mock conservative skepticism of man-made climate change by using extreme, ridiculous points that no conservative has ever used.
c) During the same filibuster, Bettencourt’s speech opens by praising, by name, several private contractors (who are his biggest donors), because, of course, those Republicans are all bought off by big business.
d) The Tea Party candidate challenging Laffer has a laughably over-the-top commercial where he is sitting on a ranch fence, holding a rifle, and shares a story about hunting wolves. The point is to portray Tea Partiers as a caricature stuck in a John Wayne film.
e) Guzman has a dream that he won the presidency in a landslide but adds: “only thing: I lost the Latino vote.” Oooh, take that Latino Republicans! You’re never going to win the Latino vote!
f) When Democrat and head of the ethics committee, Senator Carly Armiston (D-NY), played by Sex and the City alum Cynthia Nixon, approaches Biggs in the Senate dining room, she says:
“You know what John Stuart Mill said? That conservative people aren’t necessarily stupid but stupid people do tend to be conservative. That was then: nowadays, stupid and stupid’s mutant cousins – crazy and evil – are all that’s left of your party.”