The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

Politico gives itself bear hug

Politico‘s out with another feel good press release.

Not surprisingly, they congratulate themselves throughout.

The headline: POLITICO RANKS NO. 1 AMONG CONGRESSIONAL OPINION LEADERS

It goes downhill from there (or, undoubtledly, uphill if you’re inside POLITICO WORLD HQ, where their heads are blown up before they can even walk in the door). The actual news they’re releasing is that Politico ranks no. 1, both print and online, in a recent Erdos & Morgan survey among congressional opinion leaders. “The 2013 Opinion Leader survey shows POLITICO leading more than 100 publications, include The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Todya and all Capitol Hill publications,”  says a release.

The gushy quote from Editor-in-Chief John Harris, who once said that entire town of Washington was in awe of Politico‘s government shutdown coverage, is enough to make you want to stop living in your own body and get yourself sewn inside the skin of an actual Politico reporter (if this sort of thing were possible): “Our journalists wake up every day determined to set the agenda for the country’s most influential people,” said POLITICO Editor in Chief John F. Harris. “Our readers demand excellence, not commodity journalism, and we’re proud more congressional leaders turn to us for news and analysis than any other publication.”

The remaining assertions…

1. “Executive branch opinion leaders see POLITICO as ‘influential’ when compared with other Capitol Hill publications, which includes Congressional Quarterly, The Hill, National Journal and Roll Call.” In other words…We are serious VIPs. Don’t cross us. Even Mike Allen in his boot cast like report circles around you losers. 

2. “According to the survey, POLITICO leads this group in all of the policy areas it covers including: agriculture, business, the economy and finance, education, energy and the environment, health care, national security and defense, technology, trade and transportation.” In other words…Anything you’ve thought of, we’ve thought it in our sleep first even before we were even fully conscious we were thinking it. 

3. “POLITICO has dominated Washington policy coverage since 2011, when it launched its policy news service, POLITICO Pro.” In other words…FORGET BUZZFEED. WE RULE THE WORLD MOTHERF–KERS.