The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the street, a bunch of fake Santas done got they @$$ beat

A lot of people say Santa isn’t real. I’m waiting for some solid proof before I make up my mind. But as he’s making his list this year and checking it twice, these impostors won’t be in the “Nice” column.


No, that’s not what I want in a Santa fight. I don’t want Santas to fight. I want them to be nice and deliver gifts to all the good little girls and boys. These guys are creeps.

This happened during SantaCon in Manhattan, which is exactly what it sounds like. From the guidelines on the official SantaCon page:

It’s not a drunken mob – One aspect of SantaCon is the possibility of Santa getting a bit jolly. “Wasted Santa” spoils everyone’s fun – don’t be that santa. Read the guidelines on (especially #11).

And here’s #11:

Please remember that this is all about having fun. Most santas like to take their fun with a little alcohol which is fine. What is not fine, however, is getting completely sh#t-faced to the point that santas end up being abusive or violent. Remember that there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated santas and if you cross the line you’ll be on your own.

Too late.

And they heard me exclaim, as they lurched out of sight:
“Happy Christmas, you bums, thanks for spoiling the night!”


(Hat tip: Ed Morrissey)