BuzzFeed Politics, purveyor of emotionally manipulative pabulum illustrated by online illustrations called “GIFs,” is apparently some kind of gold standard that all conservative reporters should aspire to someday work for, according to a predictably pedantic Politico Magazine piece this week on why The Daily Caller is the beer-drinking idiot with hot sauce stains on its Skynyrd T-shirt compared to other Washington media outlets (though apparently we’ve “defied insider snickering to become a major news source for the right,” which I guess should be alarming to smart people who write good).
The piece devotes a full paragraph to explaining why there’s hope for conservative media because nebulously-defined former Free Beacon social media person Katherine Miller is now an editor of some kind “in more mainstream terrain” at the “traffic giant” BuzzFeed, which rarely if ever breaks news stories and instead tries to be as inoffensive as possible in line with its virality-based business model. But is BuzzFeed Politics, written by spoiled Brooklynite kids, really more “mainstream” terrain? According to Merriam-Webster:
mainstream: “a prevailing current or direction of activity or influence”
Let’s have a look at the last ten articles on BuzzFeed Politics, as of 3 AM Thursday, and their associated traffic. And then let’s think about what the term “mainstream media” really means.
Utah Governor tells state agencies not to recognize same-sex couples’ marriages: How many people enjoyed this predictable little “Republicans are bigots” piece after more than 14 hours? 13,189. What’s the U.S. population currently? I don’t know because I work for The Daily Caller, but it’s probably a good deal more than that.
3 Big Questions about the 1,360 Same-sex couples married in Utah: Wow. Three BIG questions? I wasn’t about to have some kid in Elvis Costello glasses ask me three questions, but that was before I knew that they were BIG questions! How many people answered them? 8,978.
Anti-Abortion Republicans are largely quiet as Israel adopts liberal abortion law: See, the piece isn’t about Israel’s abortion law. It’s about how “anti-abortion Republicans” are quiet about the abortion law. But BuzzFeed can’t even break the story that they’re quiet. Instead, they’re “largely quiet.” Somebody call Ed Murrow. This one had 21,496 views, so our least valuable intern might as well give it a shrug and a golf clap.
Heritage scholar slams Marco Rubio’s anti-poverty speech: As I’ve told many, many interns, if you start a headline with “[Think tank] scholar…” only 15,485 people are going to read it.
White House: Global warming caused the polar vortex: Need to get those numbers up? Then by all means, simply recite idiotic White House talking points. 28,391 people will feel relieved that the White House is on top of things.
White House denies Obama’s opposition to Iraq surge was based on politics: Of course, Andrew Kazyedhshstly. Senators don’t vote based on politics. Good on you for printing that talking point. And 3,623 people read it. No offense, but if I got that kind of traffic, Tucker Carlson would get his whipping strap, take me out to the woodshed, lay me over his knee, and tell me that I brought this on myself. And he would be right.
Video: When Christie mocked the bridge scandal and joked about personal involvement: Does this story break new information? Does it do anything to advance the story? No, but it’s a video that Andrew Kafghtarahameyer found and 9,475 people clicked on it. That’s not a lot.
Chamber of Commerce promises to make opponents pay come November: Pro tip: If you’re a reporter and you get an email from some group about how they’re going to make their opponents pay come November, it’s not really reporting to just run with it. Also, 4,975 people will click on it. If I got that kind of traffic, my severance letter would come on “Weekend Fox and Friends” stationery and all it would say is “Screw you.”
Clinton once criticized Iraq policy being driven by politics: You know, Andrew Kajghbnvnay, I vaguely remember Senator Clinton saying that once or twice in the media between the years 2002 and 2008. But since it’s from the past, it must be journalism! 2,919 views. If I got that kind of traffic, I wouldn’t even need to ask anyone if I should kill myself. Eleven bottles of cough syrup would have already been placed on my desk.
Even Fox News employees think Ann Coulter works for Fox News: Are you a so-called “traffic giant” that actually gets really low traffic? Say “Fox News” in a headline twice and you’ll have your only article out of ten to come anywhere near 47,120 views.
BuzzFeed Politics is living proof that what gets considered “mainstream” by journalist kids in Washington and Politico Magazine is not actually mainstream at all. They call it that to make themselves feel better, but they’re using “mainstream” wrong. Mainstream is what people actually want to read, look at, and talk about. Mainstream is Fox News’ ratings. Mainstream is populist. Mainstream, according to the ratings, is Rush Limbaugh and the New York Post. Mainstream is TMZ and The Jerry Springer Show. Mainstream has an identity that people embrace, rather than straining to have no identity at all.
There’s nothing mainstream at all about liberal New York kids making a boring, tone-deaf political website attached to a viral media aggregator and having almost nobody read it. But the more the BuzzFeed people (or for that matter, MSNBC, the Washington Post, and whatever kind of pocket app Newsweek is now) look at their numbers, the more they realize that the label “mainstream media,” often used by conservatives as a pejorative, is being re-defined right in front of their eyes. The more they realize in the backs of their heads that the public is rejecting their trust-fund Gen-Y worldview and their superiority over everybody else is being diminished. And the more they lie to pretend that they’re still on top.