DC Trawler

Magic Johnson gives Obamacare a high-five

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Obamacare depends on magical thinking. So the White House has come up with a brilliant idea: Why not actually show Magic, thinking?

Or whichever cognitive activity you want to call the following:

Did you follow all that? It’s good to get medical attention when you’re sick or injured. Therefore, Obamacare is awesome. Yay!

Hey, I wonder how Magic contracted HIV in the first place? Oh well, it’s not important. The thing to remember is that if somebody gets sick because of the choices he’s made, it’s your responsibility. It’s all our responsibility.

So live it up! Drink, smoke, go drugs, have sex with as many people as possible, whatever you feel like doing. After all, doesn’t the Declaration promise us all the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Pursue that happiness, dude!

Obamacare will take care of the rest.

Just one thing, though: As you’re pursuing your happiness, do not Google “the fall of Rome.” Such a buzzkill.