The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

A bridge too far-fetched

Photo of Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter
Political Commentator

New Jersey governor Chris Christie deserves to be defended.

The gravamen of the media’s case against Christie on Bridgegate seems to be that he is a “bully” — which I painstakingly gleaned from the fact that the governor is called a “bully” 1 million times a night on MSNBC and in hundreds of blog postings and New York Times reports.

Christie is not a bully. If anything, he’s a pansy, a man terrified of the liberal media, of Wall Street, of Silicon Valley, of Obama, of Bruce Springsteen, of Mark Zuckerberg, of Chuck Schumer. It’s a good bet he’s afraid of his own shadow. (In fairness, his shadow is probably pretty big and scary.) About the only thing Christie doesn’t seem afraid of is the buffet at Sizzler.

Even Christie’s defenders call him a bully, but in an admiring way. Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly recently said of the governor: “One reason Mitt Romney lost to President Obama was that Governor Romney is too much of a gentleman. He apparently did not have the ‘fire in the belly’ to deliver a knockout blow. But Christie does and is therefore a threat to the Democratic Party.”

O’Reilly thinks Christie would have gotten in Obama’s face? (I mean other than for a quick make-out session with Obama during Hurricane Sandy?)

By sheer coincidence, that was Christie’s job at the 2012 Republican National Convention. As the keynote speaker, it was his assignment to “deliver a knockout blow” to Obama.

Let’s see how he did.

In Christie’s entire gaseous convention speech, he talked about New Jersey (ad nauseam), his parents, his kids, his upbringing, every tedious detail of his tedious life — “I coached our sons Andrew and Patrick on the fields of Mendham, and … I watched with pride as our daughters Sarah and Bridget marched with their soccer teams in the Labor Day parade.”

Just before I dozed off, I seem to remember Christie sharing his seven-layer dip recipe.

The guy whose role it was to attack the president mentioned Obama exactly one time. Once. And even then, not by name.

Here is Christie the Lion-Hearted taking the fight to Obama: “You see, Mr. President, real leaders do not follow polls. Real leaders change polls.”

And that’s how Christie bravely threw down the gauntlet to Obama on Benghazi, on Obamacare, on skyrocketing unemployment, on crony capitalism, on astronomical government spending and so on. He said: “Real leaders do not follow polls.”

Accusing a politician of following polls is the biggest cliche in politics after “He’s dividing us!” In Obama’s case, it isn’t even true. Would that he followed polls! If he did, we never would have gotten Obamacare.