In what is likely an elaborate Twitter prank, a man in the United Kingdom complained to Dominoes that he burned his penis after “making love” to a scorching pepperoni pizza and requested a refund.
.@Dominos_UK HELLO I’VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
Being the professional pizza bakers that they are, Domino’s replied to the man even though he had violated one of their creations.
@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office – comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
And for all of the future pizza humpers out there, Domino’s said it would try to provide a disclaimer.
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I’VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@indiantank@ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014