BOLD QUOTE OF THE DAY: “CNN has spent a great deal of time and money scouring our world for any sign of this plane. …but the one place they haven’t looked for the plane as far as I can see is up their own [BLEEP] assholes.” — The Daily Show‘s Jon Stewart on his show last night.
My First Tweet
“Thank you much.” — NBC’s Luke Russert, via the first tweet finder. It was in response to publicist Kelley McCormick who welcomed Luke to Twitter, saying, “@lukerussert welcome to twitter, friend. great to see you and karena last night.”
Anchor’s family in tsunami threat area
“My sister & family in #tsunami warning area #galapagos hearing sirens & evacuated into hot, windowless room on 5th fl w/2hrs to go to wave.” — ABC’s Juju Chang.
CNN Malaysian plane coverage fatigue
“Little green men could exit the mothership on the White House lawn and CNN would still air speculation about the Malaysian plane. STFU” — journalist Nina Diamond.
Journo connects spring break with tits
“There are 2 reasons why any news show ever covers spring break like this: 1) schadenfreude 2) tits” — Mediaite‘s Josh Feldman.
Deep thoughts with a BuzzFeed editor
“We all just want people who don’t love us to love us, and when they finally do, we don’t care anymore.” — Samir Mezrahi, senior editor, BuzzFeed.
And REALLY deep thoughts with a Washington Post gossip columnist
“A mentor gave me awesome advice on life today: ‘Keep an amused distance.’ Let your souls marinate on that kiddos.” — Helena Andrews, co-writer, The Reliable Source.
Tourist shaming
“Hey tourists those big flashing ‘Don’t Walk’ signs? They mean don’t walk.” — The Hill‘s Jessica Taylor.
April Fools’ pride
“Best prank i’ve done to this day is changing someone’s phone to autocorrect simple words like “the” & “and” to dirty words & phrases.” — Washington Examiner‘s Kelly Cohen.
And a little April 1 “twat” joke…
“Very happy to announce that I will be joining Business Insider, where my column, Fucking Fucking Twat!, will appear monthly.” — The Daily Beast‘s Olivia Nuzzi.
Senators can be so cute with each other
SEN. BOB MENENDEZ: “@CoryBooker Hey young man, thanks for helping make us the youngest Senate team in the country.” He links to this story.
SEN. CORY BOOKER: “@SenatorMenendez Sorry I could not help us to get most luscious hair of any state team in the Senate.”
Gabriel Sherman has “super fun” time talking Ailes
“Super fun time talking my book, Roger Ailes and Fox News with Middlebury students yesterday. Bunch of smart questions!” — Gabriel Sherman, contributing editor, New York Magazine and author of The Loudest Voice in the Room.