The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller
              This comic image released by Archie Comics shows Veronica, left, Archie, center, and Betty, characters from the Archie

They’re killing off Archie Andrews, sort of, not really

The last time anybody cared what happened in an Archie comic was when they introduced a gay character. Now that they’ve shattered the stereotype that gay people are interesting, they’re trying a more old-fashioned method of drumming up publicity: pretending to kill off a major character.

As the appropriately alliterative Henry Hanks reports at CNN:

Since 1941, comic book fans have followed the exploits of teenaged Archie Andrews and his friends. This July, they’ll find out how he dies.

“Life With Archie” #36 hits stores on July 16, and CNN can reveal exclusively that it tells the story of how Archie sacrifices himself to save a friend…

The “Life With Archie” series has been telling the stories of possible future Archie scenarios for the past few years, and so Archie will continue to be alive in the comics set in the present day.

See? That’s how they getcha.

Based on the cover, it looks like Archie meets a violent end. Did somebody steal Jughead’s enormous platter of cheeseburgers, and Archie got shot trying to steal it back to save him from starving to death? Yes, that’s what I choose to believe will happen.

Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Captain America, the Human Torch, the other Human Torch, the Flash… I’m trying to think of a major comic-book character who hasn’t “died” at some point. It used to be a fanboy joke that the only guy who ever stayed dead in comics was Bucky, but even he came back. (Whoops, movie spoiler!) Get well soon, Future Archie Andrews.