The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller
Stephen Colbert. Sarah L. Voisin/Getty Images. Stephen Colbert. Sarah L. Voisin/Getty Images.  

‘Stephen Colbert’ to take over for David Letterman

Just kidding! But no, he really is. Unless he isn’t. Which he is! Etc.

Congratulations to “Mr. Colbert.” If CBS is going to be in perpetual second place, it might as well be with this guy.

Here’s “Colbert’s” statement, courtesy of USA Today:

“Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert said in a statement. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave’s lead. I’m thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.”

Ha ha ha ha ha! Remember when you used to watch Letterman, and he had that gap between his teeth? He still has that, apparently.

“Colbert” has signed a five-year deal, which guarantees us entire minutes of hilarious comedy. Can’t wait!