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Get XXX-Cited: Porn Star Positioning To Be Toronto’s Mayor

Sarah Hofmann Contributor
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Rob Ford needs to watch his back. Porn star Nikki Benz has announced her interest in running for Toronto mayor in 2014, and she’s stepping up to the plate with some innovative ideas.

Just kidding — she can barely read her teleprompter. However, backed by her employer porn company Brazzers, and her gigantic (presumably fake) breasts, Benz might make a spash.

“Torontonians need someone who understands, and exudes transparency,” she explained in her campaign video. “Someone whose positions are easily read by their actions. You can search my positions, but only if you’re over 18.”

She wants to turn Toronto’s light rail into a “Brazzers Pleasure Rail,” with vibrating seats for women and sex toys for men. She favors gay pride parades, which she highlighted with a clip of her making out with another woman. Her main platform appears to be promoting National Masturbation Month.

But she did the unforgivable when she took a cheap shot at the man, the myth, the legend, Rob Ford.

“Orgasms make for happy, healthy people, not like other vices,” she said. “Not trying to take any cracks at anyone here.”

He hasn’t ceded his seat and fully intends on running again once he gets out of rehab for smoking crack.

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Sarah Hofmann