The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller
poop YouTube screenshot/Hidden Camera Classics poop YouTube screenshot/Hidden Camera Classics  

High School Student Busted For Mailing Dog And Cow Poop To Vice Principal

A Maryland high school senior has been arrested for mailing three packages full of animal poop to a vice principal he may not like very much.

The student attends Stephen Decatur High School in the pleasant seaside town of Berlin, on Maryland’s lovely Eastern Shore, reports local CBS affiliate WUSA.

The poop is believed to have come from dogs and cows.

The vice principal is Mark Flynn, according to school district spokeswoman Barb Witherow. She wouldn’t name the student, who is not yet 18 years old.

Witherow said she isn’t sure why the unidentified student sent the poop to the vice principal. She added that Stephen Decatur High isn’t the kind of place where poop deliveries are a common occurrence.

“We do promote a respectful and positive learning environment,” Witherow told KUSA. “Any inappropriate or disruptive or illegal activity is not acceptable.”

Police arrested the student on Monday. He was charged with three counts of molesting a school administrator and three counts of disturbing activities at school.

A police department representative was quick to remind KUSA that the molestation charge doesn’t suggest that anything sexual happened with the poop. It’s more like harassment.

In addition to the criminal charges, school officials – possibly including Vice Principal Flynn – suspended the kid for 10 days (the maximum number of days a student can be suspended at Decatur High).

Police began investigating the case of the mysterious poop parcels on April 30 after Flynn told a school security officer, a cop himself, about a package of poop he had received. The security officer then contacted the local post office.

A postal inspector then intercepted two other fecal matter missives addressed to Flynn. The postal inspector was able to determine that the student was the poop sender because, he said, the student had personally brought the packages to the post office. The postal inspector jotted down the license plate of the vehicle the student left in, and traced the plate number to the student.

The cops then found the student loitering at a McDonald’s restaurant next to Decatur High and arrested him.

A search of the kid’s car at that time turned up a large quantity of alcohol, so the student faces an underage possession charge as well.

Despite the student’s use of the mail system for sending poop, no federal charges are expected.

Follow Eric on Twitter and on Facebook, and please don’t send any poop to erico@dailycaller.com.