If not, that’s fine. There’s plenty of other stuff on the Internet to read. Or you could watch something on YouTube or Vine. Or play a Facebook game. Or, if you’re all out of ideas, you could do the actual work you’re supposed to be doing right now. Your secret’s safe with me!
Still there? Okay, then.
Hi. It’s been a while since I updated you guys about the severe knee injury I sustained in Washington, DC on the evening of Feb. 3, 2010, as I was crossing the street legally and was struck by a State Department SUV making an illegal left turn. (For more details, read this, this, and this. That covers most of it, I think.)
At first I thought it was a Secret Service or CIA vehicle, because that’s what the paramedic was speculating during the ambulance ride to the hospital. I figured if anybody could spot a government vehicle, it’s a DC paramedic. After I tweeted what he’d told me, and said that if it was true I wanted answers, a jerk from Media Matters named Eric Boehlert tried to use it against me because I disagree with him politically.
Of course, Boehlert and everybody else who’s ever hassled me about it are missing the obvious point: I wouldn’t have needed to speculate about who had just HIT ME WITH AN SUV if the driver, Mike McGuinn, had identified himself to me at the scene. He did not. I didn’t find out his name and job title until the next day. Right around the same time I found out about the fraudulent jaywalking ticket, which is a whole other story.
Anyway. Below is what my knee looked like after my first surgery in Feb. ’10.
And here’s what it looks like now, after two major surgeries (Google “osteochondral allograft”), three rounds of physical therapy, and a lot of painful work learning to walk unassisted again.
WARNING: ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS GROSS.
I know, I know… Forgot to shave this morning.
These days I can walk without a limp most of the time, and climbing stairs is an annoyance rather than an ordeal. I still haven’t tried running — “When did you ever, fatso?” Ha ha! — but I still hope to work my way up to that. My surgeon hasn’t flat-out told me I’ll never be able to run again, but he hems and haws when I bring it up. I understand that and I don’t blame him. He just doesn’t want to give me false hope.
Which brings me to a really remarkable guy named Arthur Boorman. I’m just going to let the following video speak for itself:
Need a minute? I did, the first 10 times I watched this.
After my initial irritation upon finding out that this is basically an infomercial for Diamond Dallas Page’s yoga program — and my surprise that DDP has a yoga program — I figured, what the heck? Looking at where this poor guy started off, and what he was able to accomplish after 15 years of thinking he was an invalid for life… If he can do that, I have to at least try.
So I ordered the beginner’s version of DDP Yoga (which you can Google if you want, because you know how to do that), and I’ve been doing it for the last couple of weeks. Some of the moves are really tough, especially balancing on my bad leg, but it’s no-impact and it really gets your heart rate up. After you’re done, you know you’ve had a workout, but the next day you’re not in pain and you’re actually motivated to get right back to it.
It’s early days yet, but my knee already feels better. And it’s actually fun to do. There’s no meditating, or chanting with a flower in your hair, or any of that stuff. Just exercises to make you stronger and more flexible. More capable. That’s the most important thing to me. I want to be able to do stuff again. I really think this will help.
Alright. Thank you for reading an entire post about my knee.
P.S. As for the legal end of things, which people always ask me about: Things are finally in motion. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and there’s a pretty good chance it’s not a train. Beyond that, I’m not going to say anything. If you’ve read this far and you think I owe you more than that, please have a nice day for yourself.
To everyone who has stood by me for the past 4+ years: Thank you. It means more than you know. To the rest… [brushes dirt off shoulder]
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) May 22, 2014