This is either the greatest – or worst – headline in the world for a 13-year-old boy:
Large Genitals Get Underage Boy Put in Russian Prison for Theft
Surely The Moscow Times headline will follow this lad for years to come. They report that he was mistaken for much older male on account of his gargantuan genitals. Authorities had doctors examine the boy’s genitals because he was arrested for allegedly stealing a cell phone. The family says he was 12 at the time of the theft. Doctors examined his teeth and schlong, however, and apparently determined him to be 16 or 17.
As headlines go, the 13-year-old has an incredible claim to fame to carry with him for years to come.