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The New Politically Correct Fight Song At The University of Utah Sucks

Back in April, the student government at the University of Utah deemed the campus’s over-100-year-old fight song, “Utah Man,” sexist, racist and transphobic. Consequently, school officials decided to change the lyrics. (RELATED: Student government deems University of Utah fight song racist, sexist)

Officials at the U have now announced the new, politically-correct lyrics of the song, reports Salt Lake City Fox affiliate KSTU.

It’s awful.

For old time’s sake, here is the original version of the song, which started as a frat chant, and which is traditionally belted out after every football touchdown:

I am a Utah man, sir, and I live across the green.

Our gang, it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.

Our coeds are the fairest and each one’s a shining star.

Our yell, you hear it ringing through the mountains near and far.

CHORUS

Who am I, sir? A Utah man am I A Utah man, sir, and will be till I die; Ki!Yi!

We’re up to snuff; we never bluff,

We’re game for any fuss,

No other gang of college men

dare meet us in the muss.

A committee made up of students, professors and bureaucrats has now insisted that singers can insert the word “fan” instead of “man” at the very beginning.

The line “coeds are the fairest” is banished forever. The completely lame new words are now “our students are the finest.”

Also, the words “no other gang of college men” have been castrated to become “no rival band of college fans.”

“We think that it’s important that members of our community know that we listen to them, and that we care about them feeling included,” Barbara Snyder, vice president of student affairs told KSTU. “We didn’t want the fight song to be something that divided people. We wanted it to be something that pulled people together.”

Student council Madison Black, who was a member of the lyric-neutering committee, agreed.

“The fight song isn’t just about athletics,” Black told the station. “It’s not just about the students or the alumni. It’s about everybody here on campus. And I think it’s really important to make sure that everybody here feels like they’re part of the university.”

University of Utah President David Pershing said students are still free to sing the original version of the lyrics if they want.

However, school officials insisted that the classic song must change with the times.

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