Update: The couple has since parted ways.
(P.S. Due to clamoring inquiries about how they’re doing, we thought we’d re-run the January feature.)
Welcome to the pilot episode of Hot Scoop. It’s a chance for The Mirror to interview couples around town for an evolving feature, the details of which are still being hashed out. Today we have two twentysomethings: The Daily Caller reporter Patrick Howley and the Washington Examiner’s commentary writer Ashe Schow. According to Howley, they’ve been spotted together now on multiple occassions, and perhaps even in the morning outside his apartment.
How they met
Howley: I met her at the Heritage Foundation Christmas party. She was wearing a purple dress and looked hot standing next to Grover Norquist, if only by comparison. She had a boyfriend at that time, but I was like ‘Whatever.’ Then we saw each other at a New Year’s party where she was wearing a black dress and I was a little high. She looked hot there too, even though Grover wasn’t there, which is really the litmus test. Her boyfriend was there, but I don’t adhere to UN regulations. Also, there was a Facebook photo of her sitting on the floor of her apartment with black high heels that drove me crazy.
Ashe: I believe we met at the Heritage media party? I could have sworn we had met before, but that was the first time we said words to each other. I thought he was interesting. I like Daily Caller people. But I had a boyfriend at the time so there were no thoughts like that, no potential at that time. I didn’t see him again until a New Year’s Eve party which I was at with my boyfriend at the time. He didn’t seem to notice. He sent me a Facebook message asking me out for a drink. I didn’t even know it was a date. And then he didn’t say anything for a week after that. So I had to circle back and say, do you still want to get that drink? I was out drinking when I wrote him. When I pieced the night together, I realized I had made plans. The next morning I woke up and realized I was too hungover to follow through on them so I had to reschedule.
How long they’ve been dating: 3 weeks
Howley: Went to a bar for drinks. “I don’t remember,” Howley said, when asked for the name of the bar. I was impressed. Lovely. Intelligent. I’m rarely comfortable in any one-on-one encounter but I did my best. We talked about larger life themes. Probably talked about me and my own lack of mainstream journalistic credibility. We stayed at the bar until closing. I think she drove home. I’m sure I was aware of the situation at the time. She did not live within walking distance. I’m sure I was on top of what the exit strategy was. There was a first kiss on the first date.
Ashe: He started it off by shaking my hand, so I didn’t think it was a date. It was Black Finn. He didn’t talk to me for like an hour, he barely said anything. I had no idea he was interested. He wouldn’t even look at me for like an hour. I was so confused. After he had two or three beers then he finally started talking. Then we went to a karaoke bar. It’s not really my scene. And then we went to Mackeys and ended up closing that bar down. It ended up being a seven-hour date.
Howley: Honestly, my concerns at this point revolve around two main points: she’s a little emotionally needy, and she oftentimes breaks the “fourth wall” on a date to comment on the date itself, much like the opening monologue in “Annie Hall.” But aside from those things, she appears to be adequate.
Ashe: He lives like he’s in a third world country. He doesn’t even have pillows. I don’t want to be one of those girlfriends who says you need pillows and maybe some trash taken out. I know it’s D.C., but people have pillows. His excuse is that he has only been there three weeks. He’s the one that hangs on me all the time, won’t let me walk away, who’s emotionally needy? I’m going to say that it’s on him.
Recent relationship history
Howley: “Poor. Tried out Tindr but failed because no one was rating e hot. A couple other brief interludes but those failed miserably because of personality flaws.” Such as? “Having a dim view of human nature, trust issues and low self-esteem.” What are his positive qualities? He’s gainfully employed, has his full head of hair, and no student loan debt because he dropped out of college.
Ashe: “A lot of mistakes. Occasionally good guy whose heart I broke. Mistakes in between. I have a real low tolerance for annoying people — emotionally needy people, clingy people.”
What he likes about her: “She is odd, which is always good. Quirky. Sort of a Winona Ryder archetype. Has a bit of a dark view of things. Cynical. Thoughtful. Interesting.” He gives her at least three Howleys on his personal rating scale.
What she likes about him: “Well, I’m really obsessed with the culture of the 40s, and he really seems like a time traveler from that era and that’s pretty cool. He also seems really into me, at least when he’s drunk.”
Howley: “I don’t know. We’re past that point now where dates are numbered. Goes day by day now. I’m not dating anyone else. I don’t have anything planned at the moment.”
Ashe: “I would like our next day to actually be something. Going somewhere and doing something. I know I’m seeing him tonight and we’re going to parties. I would like it go to dinner.”
On a scale of 1-10, will this relationship last?
Howley: “That’s not for me to say. That’s for the public. The readers will have to decide that.”
Ashe: “Since I’m only using him to pay back my college loans. Once those are paid off, maybe I’ll keep him around.”