The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

Pandas Still Aren’t Extinct For Some Reason

I don’t need to tell my longtime reader(s) about my perfectly sane and rational dislike of pandas. The sooner those shambling, drywall-crapping evolutionary dead ends finally die off, the better.

But my beautiful dream of a panda-free world will have to wait for another day, as Aaron Bandler reports:

A China zoo announced that what is thought to be the first ever panda triplets have been born, reports the New York Post.

The mother, named Juxiao, was naturally impregnated by a male panda named Linlin when they were paired together in September by Guangzhou’s Chimelong Safari Park, according to AFP…

For now, the cubs are the only surviving panda triplets in the world, but a Sichuan Wolong National Nature Reserve official cautions that it’s too early to describe the cubs as “surviving.”

I guess they are kinda cute… Er, I mean: DIE PANDAS DIE.

Congratulations to Linlin for figuring out how to do it with a lady panda all by himself. That makes him the Einstein of pandas. Maybe his kids will be slightly less dumb than the rest of their repugnant species.

Just look at their little faces. Awwwww!

Yyyyyyyuck.