Inbox hilarity: “Last chance to sign up for your online Hebrew course.” They go on… “Guided by one of Israel’s finest Hebrew teachers, you and your classmates will learn at your own pace and receive all the personal attention you need to fulfill your dream of speaking Hebrew.” Yes, my dream. (This is sponsored content from the Times of Israel.)
“That awkward phase where I’m too old but my kids are too young to justify me watching the #VMAs.” — Defense One editor Kevin Baron.
“So claiming Jesse Jackson is ‘the real racist’ is neither new, nor the most absurd variation. It’s an ancient tactic. Old as racism itself.” — Ta-Nehisi Coates, national correspondent, The Atlantic.
“I identify as a Hot Tranny Mess. You can’t question it. It’s my identity.” — GID Watch, stands for Gender Identity Watch.
The Media Critic
“Great news that this man released. But totally irresponsible of news orgs to call him a ‘journalist’ w/out evidence.” — Washington Post Cairo Bureau Chief Abigail Hauslohner. She points to this Daily Mail story. Too bad she doesn’t also point to her own newspaper, which starts their story off, “An American journalist abducted by rebels in Syria…”
Uh Oh. Sh*t that only happens in Washington
“Officials believe a car battery was leaking acid. They say this close to the White House, they take it more seriously than a basic fire.” — CNN’s Erin McPike.
“Woman to pal at renovated DC nail salon: ‘This place used to have signs that said ‘peace’ and ‘integrity,’ you know weird stuff like that.'” — The Hill‘s “In the Know” columnist Judy Kurtz.
“Small child in the seat behind me testing hypothesis that the louder he screams, the faster we will make it to the gate at O’Hare.” — WaPo‘s Reid Wilson.
“Literally just heard someone having and orgasm out their second story window on Lorimer street. Privacy in NYC is fun.” — Peter Moskowitz, who has had bylines in Gawker, Al Jazeera America and more.
Starfuckers (A new feature)
“@GabbySidibe is on my flight so I’m feeling much better about our chances. Even Satan himself wouldn’t dare harm America’s Sweetheart.” — Whisper‘s Neetzan Zimmerman.
Totally Inappropriate Tweet
“Someone tell this CNN anchor I can almost see her pussy. Thanks.” — Sydney Elaine Leathers, ex-sexting partner to ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Penistown, NY).
Convo Between Two Journos
NYT, GQ and National Geographic‘s Robert Draper: “On Capitol Hill, saw a red fox trotting down the street with a dead squirrel in mouth.”
NYT‘s Mark Leibovich: “Most productive morning on Hill in yrs.”
One tweet, lots of idiots
Here we go again: Donald Trump for Prez?
“Head and shoulders over the pygmies considering the 2016 GOP nomination!” — GOP strategist and blogger Roger J. Stone. To which Politico‘s Ken Vogel replied, “Definitely a class by himself.”
DOGS IN THE DISHWASHER: “The boys doing their nightly chores, pre washing the dishes.” — Roll Call politics reporter Emily Cahn.
THE EX-NBC BEEFCAKE: “Ladies love David Gregory” — Politico congressional reporter Burgess Everett.