Quote of the Day 

“Every one of those guys should be fired.” — Shock jock Howard Stern on what ought to happen to the members of the Secret Service involved in the recent security breaches at the White House.

Confessional. 

“I hate when I’m writing e-mails even to friends and I want to add a sentence about my deadline.” — Washington Examiner‘s Ashe Schow.

A clue that Politico’s Jake Sherman is stepping in for Mike Allen today writing Playbook: 

“BIRTHWEEK: Trey Anastasio of Phish was 5-0 yesterday. He just wrapped up a three-city solo orchestral tour last week in L.A., and will hit the road with Phish Oct. 17 in Eugene, Oregon.”

So cute: Journos plan to go to a show together 

BuzzFeeders: Dorsey Shaw mines cable news and Charley Warzel is the tech editor. 

Hilarious…

“Going on an unfollowing binge.” — Politico‘s serial tweeter Blake Hounshell.

Journo shares his inbox

“INBOX: This is it. ONE HOUR LEFT. Our candidate IS ABOUT TO DROWN HIMSELF IN BOILING OIL. $35 or he dies. What’s it gonna be?” — Politico‘s Ben White.

Someone pretends to be Andrew Kaczynski’s father 

The three opening sentences involve the late Patrick Swayze‘s penis and balls. No joke. See here.

DOES THIS MEAN HE WANTS HERPES? 

“I’m about as interested in KISS owning and running an Arena football team as I am in contracting Herpes as a lifestyle change.” — Dan Riehl, conservative blogger.

Piers Morgan gives a thumbs up to Michael Phelps

“Kudos to @MichaelPhelps – that’s the way you handle a bad situation. Hands up, no excuses, sincere apology. #respect.” — The Daily Mail‘s new editor-at-large Piers Morgan. Phelps got a DUI. 

Journo opens nasal passages 

“Making giant vat of Tunisian meatballs. May or may not have seared my nasal passages by opening lid and inhaling incredibly hot steam.” — Tristyn Bloom, The Daily Caller.

Pensive? Wistful? Once again, the fedora emerges at Tuesday’s White House presser 

A White House press corps. hard at work…