The Mirror

It’s Wonkette’s Wedding Day

Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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Back when Wonkette was actually readable, I would’ve cared more about something like this. But since it’s turned pathetic and crazy under the leadership of Rebecca Schoenkopf, who famously got trashed at a Politico party at the RNC in Tampa in 2012 and then claimed to have been thrown out, we care less. By the way, she wasn’t thrown out, but did write the most unintelligible story possible and begged some male reporter partygoers to make out with her, Mirror sources learned. And allegedly swapped spit with a security officer at the party. But considering most of what she wrote wasn’t true — she has a penchant for that — who knows if that make out session even happened?

Nonetheless, today’s apparently her wedding day.

In October, in the most grotesque first-person post imaginable, she announced her pregnancy with an underling and talked about all the sex they had to conceivably get her “knocked up” as well as his “supersperms.” She joked about the probabilities of her child having Down’s Syndrome just because that‘s something to laugh about. “Could happen,” she wrote, “Then we will have a baby who loves everyone.” The difficulty with Schoenkopf is she seems to think she has a knack for humor writing and it almost always passes for sadly incoherent.

On a high note, she wrote that she’ll be doing even less work than she did before.

An excerpt from that post in which she announces that her then-baby daddy “put a baby in her butt”:

“Best. Midlife crisis. EVER. I was all, ‘I am very gay for you and not in any pejorative sense of the term,’ and he was all, ‘I am supergay for you too and also not in any pejorative sense of the term, because we are liberals who love gayness the end,’ and we kissed and stuff a bunch and then he put a baby in my butt! #homeschool. Surprise” 

Should Child Protective Services be called now?

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