Politics

Top Of ‘President’ Cruz’s To-Do List: Console Distraught Reporters

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Rachel Stoltzfoos Staff Reporter
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Asked how he would handle illegal immigration as president, Republican Sen. Ted Cruz joked recently the first thing he would do is send his condolences to the reporters and editors who will have “checked into therapy.”

“Let’s just say my fantasy comes true,” talk radio host Jeff Kuhner told Cruz at a recent WRKO town hall event. “We’re 19 months from now –”

“This is G-rated?” Cruz interjected to laughs.

“And it’s no longer Sen. Cruz, but it’s El Presidente Cruz, it’s President Cruz,” Kuhner said, at which point the enthused crowd broke into chants of “USA, USA, USA,” for some reason.

“Now you’re in the White House,” Kuhner continued. “You’re in the oval office. What does Sen. Cruz do regarding illegal immigration and in particular what do you do concretely about securing the border? What do you do about employers who hire illegals?” (RELATED: Where Cruz Stands With Rubio Against Walker On Immigration)

“And what do you do specifically about the 12 to 20 million illegals in this country? In other words, would President Cruz give a path to legalization or amnesty for illegal immigrants?”

“A very important question,” Cruz responded. “Let me start by saying if I’m elected, January 27 I suppose the first thing I should do is send flowers and a note of condolences to all of the reporters and editors who have checked themselves into therapy.”

“And frankly, the second thing I would do is start planning — if you’re going to let a Cuban into the White House — start planning for Dec. 24, 2017, when I guarantee you we will have a pig roast on the South Lawn of the White House,” he continued. “And I’m pretty confident my dad will be there turning the pig.”

“And it’s going to have a large cigar in its front mouth.” (RELATED: Journalist Apologizes To Ted Cruz For ‘Inappropriate’ Questions About Being Hispanic)

(h/t Buzzfeed)

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