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SOFTBALL: Missing Key Players, ‘Daily Ballers’ Still Obliterate Latest Opponent [VIDEO]

Christian Datoc Senior White House Correspondent
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Despite missing some key players — Captain Jake took both his talents and biceps on vacation this week — the Daily Ballers managed to rattle off another statement victory on Tuesday.

Our opponent — The Henry L. Stimson Center — is a nonpartisan think thank that has spent the past 25 years searching for “pragmatic solutions for global security,” but I’m thinking they should’ve reallocated some of that time preparing to face the Ballers. Seriously, I have no idea what the score was, because after the first inning there was literally no shot that they’d come back against us. I think they scratched four runs across… maybe five.

But I digress.

MVP of the game goes to TheDC’s own Entertainment Editor Kaitlan Collins, who managed to smoke a line drive back up the middle despite — and I quote — “never [having] held a bat before in [her] life… ever, y’all. Seriously.”

There were too many team highlights to list them all so here’s a few of my favorites:

1) Weaver hit a ground-rule-double using the other team’s bat and nearly sparked an international incident.

2) Intern Andrew made a diving catch in deep right field, then threw out a runner trying to tag up from second. #GotHeeeem.

3) Yours truly hit a no-doubter grand slam, bringing my season HR total to six… sorry ’bout it.

Check back next week as we get set to take on… honestly, I have no idea. It doesn’t matter who we play:

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