The Only Way Nick Saban Would Cheat On His Wife Is With Hillary

What’s the one way Nick Saban would ever cheat on his wife?

If it’s with Hillary “Fucking” Clinton.

The Alabama football coach imparts life lessons in a new biography by Monte Burke, and though the book itself isn’t out yet, an excerpt was published on Twitter Monday where Saban is giving his players dating advice.

From the excerpt:

“‘Guys out there chasing pussy, having all of these kids. And then you come in here and try to play football. Ultimately it’s a distraction. Ultimately, you don’t want to be out there chasing after midnight. If you haven’t locked it up by midnight, it’s not worth it.'”

Nick Saban hillary clinton

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“At this point Saban paused and shuffled on his feet. The color had risen in his face. His players had no idea what to expect next.”

“‘Ultimately, you never want to sleep with anybody who has less to lose than you do,’ he said, ‘So, ultimately, if I’m ever going to sleep around on Miss Terry, it’s going to be with Hillary Fucking Rodham Clinton.'”