I can’t believe this day has finally come. It’s been a great ride, John, and you’ve made the world a better place. When you first took over the job from the previous guy, a lot of people were skeptical. They didn’t think you could cut it. They didn’t think you had the will. But you proved them wrong.
You brought light to the darkness. You fought the forces of evil. And you made it look easy. But now it’s over. All good things must come to an end.
This is it.
We’ll never forget you, John. Farewell, hero. Farewell.
P.S. Oh yeah, there’s also that other guy who stole the name. Whatever.