Cheerleading Tryout Rules Aren’t A Problem, Calm Your Tits

This week’s tragedy is cheerleading. And you bet your ass it has to do with objectification. And Western values. And white women.

EspnW (emphasis on women, unless you’re white, tan, blonde and fit in this case) joined the mob descending on University of Washington (UW) for posting this infographic about the “do’s” and “dont’s” of trying out to be a Husky cheerleader Friday.

Assuming your social justice aneurysm didn’t just burst, let’s break this down.

Tony Barron and others are offended at this infographic because it objectifies women, is racially insensitive and idealizes “Western beauty.”

You know, put on your false eyelashes and your “girl about town lipstick.” Oh, and whatever you do don’t get caught rocking a ponytail or a shirt that covers your midriff … that’s as bad as donning unflattering eye shadow. NOT a good look.

Cheerleading is a sport based in part around looking upbeat, peppy and enthusiastic. The infographic says dark, smokey eyes are not appropriate because, shockingly, they don’t convey pep or enthusiasm. It says nothing about that style looking “unflattering.” It’s actually just using smokey eyes as a reference point for what you want to avoid.

“If you can also make sure you have that perfect sun-kissed, fake tan-induced glow about you — that would be a plus,” espnW continues.

UW would also prefer potential cheerleaders be tan, because being tan is appealing to a large number of Americans. They want to attract as large of an audience as possible to sporting events that bring UW and universities around the country millions of dollars a year. Also, UW is requesting cheerleaders do it in a safe manner with a “Natural tan/Spray tan.” That’s helping promote healthy lifestyles by discouraging tanning; spray tans last a week, so UW may only want you to get one for games. Otherwise, let your pale pride rock. Oh, and white women usually don’t have a “natural tan,” so take a pause on that racial insensitivity.

Who cares if the person in the picture is white? It’s a guideline for anyone who wants to try out to be a cheerleader. If the person was black, it would still be information for Asian and Hispanic girls.

For a sport that has been fighting to be taken seriously for such a long time, this is simply disheartening. It sends the overt message that appearance is the most important thing, if not the only thing that matters.

But actually, appearance is important, and that’s OK. And Barron simply ignores the physical skill honed from years of training cheerleaders need. Schools already send out important information about tumbling and other skills required for tryouts. If anything, Barron and other’s moral outrage is hurting the sport by ignoring the effort and talent required to be a cheerleader.

I can only guess people are upset about “idealization of Western beauty” because a state university in a majority-white country used a white woman on a poster.

So let’s slow our roll, guys. There are a lot of terrible things in this world; endless causes for an endless well of anger: There are child suicide bombers, there are cartels hanging people from highway overpasses, “Firefly” was canceled.

And the real injustice? EspnW confused UW and Washington State University. Massive family-splitting rivalry aside, not all Washington universities are the same, and your disregard for individuality is offensive.

Follow Katie on Twitter