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TRUMP TOWER RECORDING REVEALED: Trump’s Secret VP Talks

REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

Jamie Weinstein Senior Writer
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The Daily Caller has obtained exclusive audio of meetings Donald Trump held at his office in Trump Tower over the July 4th weekend.

A transcript of the recording is reproduced here for the first time, in its entirety and without comment.

Trump: Hope, send in Ben.

[Ben Carson enters the room.]

Trump: There he is, my favorite African American. Tell me how the VP search has been going.

[5 seconds of what seems to be total silence.]

Trump: Ben, I see you moving your lips, but you’re going to have to speak up. I have no idea what you are saying.

Carson: Ok. I can do that. I was saying, I’ve put together a short list I think “We the People” will like.

Trump: Tremendous. Give me the names.

Carson: My first choice for you would be the Constitution.

Trump: Pardon me?

Carson: The Constitution. The Constitution would be your vice presidential nominee.

Trump: The Constitution? I’m not following, Ben. The Constitution isn’t a person.

Carson: It’s better than a person. It’s a document inspired by God, that has allowed our country to flourish for more than 200 years. Hillary could never choose a vice president better than the Constitution. And just think about it,  how could Hillary’s VP possibly win a debate against the Constitution? It just can’t be done.

Trump: Who else you got, Ben?

Carson: My second choice for you would be Jesus Christ.

Trump: Jesus Christ? I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, Ben, but Jesus is dead. He died a long time ago.

Carson: Oh goodness, no. He is most certainly not dead. In fact, he rose from the dead.

Trump: You don’t hear this from me often, Ben, but let’s try to keep this list a bit more conventional. Do you have any names on the list that might be considered a more traditional?

Carson: Well, I never thought we would get past the first two, but I did meet this lady at the grocery store the other day when I went shopping for a carrot for my imaginary rabbit. She was just delightful – the lady that is, not my imaginary rabbit, who is actually quite ferocious. Anyway, I thought to myself, “I bet she would make a very fine vice president for Donald.” But then I thought, what are the chances Donald would say “no” to the Constitution and Jesus? So I didn’t get her name or contact information.

Trump: OK. Thanks for the report, Ben. Keep up the good work. On your way out, please send Hope in.

[Shortly after Ben leaves, Trump campaign spokeswoman Hope Hicks enters the room.]

Trump: Hope, let’s not schedule anymore one-on-one meetings between me and Ben. And let’s get someone different heading the VP search. It turns out Ben is an honest-to-God nutcase.

Hicks: Yes, sir. So you know, Chris Christie is waiting outside. He was hoping to get a moment with you.

Trump: Is he wearing the Hamburglar outfit I got him?

Hicks: He is, but he asked me to ask you whether he can remove it when in the building.

Trump: Under no circumstances. Tell security, under no circumstances is he allowed in this building if he is not in costume. If he wants to visit me, if he wants to talk to me, he wears the costume. Send him in, but tell him he has only two minutes.

[Chris Christie enters.]

Trump: Dear God, Chris, is it possible you’ve actually gotten fatter since the last time I saw you?

Christie: I don’t think so, Donald.

[10 seconds of silence.]

Christie: I mean, I don’t think so, Mr. Trump.

Trump: There we go. What can I do for you, Chris?

Christie: Well, sir, last time we talked we discussed possibility expanding my areas of responsibility within the campaign.

Trump: Yes we did. Did Hope tell you that you are now authorized to pick me up hamburgers from both McDonald’s and Wendy’s so long as you wear the costumes I purchased for you?

Christie: Yes, she gave me the pigtails you want me to wear for the Wendy’s pickups. If I can speak frankly sir, when I endorsed you I was hoping that I would be considered for something more substantive – like your running mate. I wanted to ask if that is still on the table?

Trump: Oh, absolutely Chris. But I need you to show me you want it by performing well in the jobs I assign you. So you better get going if you are to bring me back a double cheeseburger by noon.

Christie: OK. But I’m on the list then? I’m still in the game?

Trump: I can tell you with total honesty that Ben Carson hasn’t come up with a better name than you yet.

Christie: That’s good to here. I’ll be back shortly with your cheeseburger sir.

Trump: That a boy, Chris.

[A waddle is heard as Christie exits the room. Hope Hicks is heard entering shortly thereafter.]

Hicks: Sir, Jared [Kushner] is waiting outside. He says he has a few concerns about the sheriff’s badge you’ve asked him to wear when campaigning with you.

[Audio cuts off]

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