DC Trawler

WaPo Editorial Board To America: Leave Hillary Alone!

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Some people think I want Hillary Clinton to be president because I’m critical of both her and the equally unsuitable Republican candidate. Which is fine. Silly people can believe as many silly things as they want. I’m not on either team, and I refuse to say things I don’t believe or be quiet about things I do believe. I’ll continue to express my honest opinion about both of the disgusting mutants who have a shot at becoming the next president, and you can like it or lump it. It’s all the same to me.

But not everyone can be as wonderfully nonpartisan as yours truly. The Washington Post editorial board writes:

The Hillary Clinton email story is out of control

Judging by the amount of time NBC’s Matt Lauer spent pressing Hillary Clinton on her emails during Wednesday’s national security presidential forum, one would think that her homebrew server was one of the most important issues facing the country this election. It is not…

In fact, Ms. Clinton’s emails have endured much more scrutiny than an ordinary person’s would have, and the criminal case against her was so thin that charging her would have been to treat her very differently…

Ms. Clinton is hardly blameless. She treated the public’s interest in sound record-keeping cavalierly. A small amount of classified material also moved across her private server. But it was not obviously marked as such, and there is still no evidence that national security was harmed. Ms. Clinton has also admitted that using the personal server was a mistake. The story has vastly exceeded the boundaries of the facts.

Show’s over, folks. Nothing to see here. Tell your story walkin’. Etc.

It’s amazing. If Nixon had been a Democrat, the WaPo editorial board would’ve whined: “But lots of people use tape recorders!”

She just made a mistake, everybody. Sure, she was cavalier in her record-keeping, but who among us can cast the first stone? You mean to tell me you’ve never disposed of an old phone by smashing it with a hammer?

Hillary Clinton is just a cuddly grandma who’s confused by all these newfangled gadgets and contraptions, and we need to make her the most powerful person in the free world.

This is your fault, America. You just can’t handle the idea of a woman becoming president, so you pretend to care about things like “laws” and “rules” and “facts.” Holding a woman to the same standard as a man is misogyny. It’s why we need to overthrow the patriarchy. Why do you hate women? WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN???

Okay, WaPo. Good luck shaming Matt Lauer, and anybody else who has questions, into shutting up. That’s the only reason for ridiculous outbursts like your latest editorial.

It’s like I always say: