DC Trawler

Sarah Silverman: Hillary Captured Bin Laden, So We Owe Her 1,000 Purple Hearts

(Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Trevor Project)

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You may know Sarah Silverman from such films as… um…

Well, okay, you may not know Sarah Silverman. It doesn’t really matter. But she’s someone who’s in the public eye for reasons I can’t fathom, and she just said something that’s perfectly emblematic of 2016 America.

Strap on your thinking caps, people, ’cause here comes a real brain-teaser:

So now you know: Hillary crawled through Bin Laden’s window with a knife in her teeth, and then she captured him. He’s been captured. But you teabaggers don’t care, because she isn’t a Republican. That’s why you didn’t even give her the Purple Heart she deserves — you see, that’s what we give our men and women in uniform for capturing the enemy, we award them the Purple Heart — let alone a thousand of them.

You owe Hillary Clinton 1,000 Purple Hearts for capturing Osama Bin Laden.

This is the woman who stood onstage at the DNC and said this:

You’re being ridiculous. She’s better than you. All of these people are better than you. Go ahead, ask ’em.

Gotcha! She’s just kidding. I’m just kidding. Everybody’s just kidding!

Just kidding.

P.S. Okay, I finally remembered a movie Sarah Silverman was in. She only showed up for a couple of minutes, but she was pretty good!

WARNING: Adult language, violence, and very tasty schadenfreude