Pandas are the worst. All animals are dumb and I don’t like them — except, of course, for a snack. But pandas are in a league all their own. Cockroaches with fur. Behind those adorable eyes is nothing but pure evil, and I refuse to give in to their bumbling charms.
Up until now, I could console myself with the knowledge that pandas were dying out. That a world without pandas might be possible in my lifetime. Finally, I could be free of that scourge. We could all be free!
Now my dream has been shattered.
Recently, pandas were taken off the endangered species list. And now, as if to rub salt in my wounds… this.
These adorable baby pandas just made their world debut: https://t.co/ovrtIh3U9W pic.twitter.com/phYl969Npw
— CBS News (@CBSNews) September 30, 2016
More pandas. Great. Just terrific.