Election Day is finally here. The 2016 presidential campaign is almost over. And what a crazy campaign it’s been, huh? For a while there, it looked like the repulsive, dishonest criminal was in trouble. But after that, things started looking bad for the other repulsive, dishonest criminal. As of today, it seems like both of the completely unacceptable candidates are hated in equal measure by the American voting public. Today will be a battle for which one is loathed less.
No matter what happens, I’m not going to like the outcome. No matter who wins, it will be bad for America. No matter who loses, their most fervent acolytes will hate me for refusing to worship one over the other. This is the darkest timeline.
I’m tempted to follow the example of my colleague Matt Lewis and just not vote. His reasoning is sound, and I can’t blame him. But I don’t think all the rest of the GOP candidates should be punished for the utter collapse at the highest levels of their party. None of this is their fault. So I’ll be voting against the Democrats down-ticket.
And I’ll be writing in Evan McMullin for president. I don’t care if it even counts in my state. That’s not my problem. I’m voting for the candidate I want to see in the White House. This is still the United States of America, and I get to do that.
If you want to be angry with me about that, go right ahead. If you want to tell me that my opinion doesn’t matter, and then turn right around and tell me that the results of this election are my fault, please feel free. Maybe you’ll calm down eventually. Maybe you won’t. Either way, your emotional problems are not my responsibility.
Okay then. Let’s do this, America! Get out there and vote. Or don’t. And tomorrow, we can all stop squabbling over these two creeps and get on with the backbiting and recriminations over the one who lost.
P.S. I hope I didn’t jinx things with that headline. This interminable campaign will end today, right? Please, please, please let it end today.