DC Trawler

Joe Biden Is Disappointed In You, America

(Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images)

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If you’re like me — and let’s face it, you are, in more ways than you care to admit — you live your life by one simple precept. One thought, over and over, that helps you navigate through your day: What would Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. do?

I don’t have to tell you that you failed to ask yourself that question on Nov. 8, America. And Joe is very disappointed in you.

Kevin Liptak, CNN:

“This has been a very tough election. It’s been ugly, it’s been divisive, it’s been coarse, it’s been dispiriting. And it was more a battle of personalities than it was a battle of ideas in my view,” Biden told a crowd at a post-election forum convened by New York University in Washington…

“Why wasn’t there more discussion?” he asked. “Hillary Clinton was the single most qualified on the fact of it to run for president of the United States that we’ve had, period. It wasn’t that she didn’t have all these ideas. She did. But the press, you didn’t cover it.”

That’s exactly right. It’s the media’s fault. They didn’t do enough to convince us how wonderful Hillary is.

But also, not:

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said. “When a guy talks about grabbing a woman’s private parts, when a guy says some of the incredibly outrageous things that were said, it sucks up all the oxygen in the air.”

So… Hold on, let me figure this one out. Okay, Trump won because the press didn’t tell us about all of Hillary’s great ideas. Right? Got it. And the reason they didn’t tell us about all of her great ideas was because Trump kept saying all sorts of crazy stuff. Therefore, it’s Trump’s fault that Trump won.

I think?

Look, Joe’s ideas are often too complex for the mere layman to untangle. The point is, everybody is to blame for what just happened, except for the Democrats. They fell into Donald’s trap, through no fault of their own. They didn’t do anything wrong, because saying so would hurt their feelings even worse than they’re hurt already.

No need for introspection, Dems. No course correction necessary. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing.

Where will this intellectual titan be in four years? Will he swoop back in and rescue America? Joe is keeping his options open for 2020. Or maybe they’re closed. Again, his thought processes can often be incomprehensible to us lowly mortals.

In other completely sane and rational news, Hillary’s heartbroken acolytes are openly sobbing at the sight of her:

Amazing. I think this guy said it best: