Politics

Michael Moore Vows To ‘End The Trump Carnage’

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Ted Goodman Contributor
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Liberal activist and documentary filmmaker Michael Moore spoke at the Women’s March on Washington Saturday, where he proposed a series of steps that all Americans should take in order to “end the Trump carnage.”

“I woke up this morning, picked up the Washington Post, and the headline read ‘Trump Takes Power,'” Moore exclaimed to the crowd while holding up Saturday’s Washington Post.

“I don’t think so. Here’s the power! Here’s the majority of America right here,” Moore said.

“We are the majority!” He shouted as he tore the newspaper in half.

“Mr. Trump, we are here to vow to end the Trump carnage!” Moore exclaimed to the cheering masses as he threw the torn up paper. “I’ll pick that up later,” he said. “Recycle!”

Moore proposed a series of steps that people should take in order to push back against the new administration.

He asked the gathering crowds to call their congressman every single day. “Every day!” he stressed, informing them of a number they can call to find out the number of their congressman.

Second, Moore implored people to join groups. “Join Planned Parenthood, join the ACLU, join NARAL!” he exclaimed. Moore admitted that while he supports Planned Parenthood, he has never actually been a member.

“Number three, you need to form your own personal, rapid response team. All it takes is five to 10 people, that you will call or text when we have to move fast,” he explained.

“Number five, we have to take over the Democratic Party,” he said, seeming to completely miss his fourth step. “God bless the Democrats who fought with us, who’ve done so many good things, it’s no knock on them, but you were coaching the women’s basketball team twice in 16 years, my friends…”

“We’ve won, and then lost. We have let this happen twice now in 16 years where we win the White House, but they walk through the door,” Moore said, ignoring the electoral college system currently in place.

“I’m sorry, but the old guard of the Democratic Party has to go,” he continued.”We need young leadership, we need minorities, we need gays and lesbians and transgenders!”

He voiced his support for Rep. Keith Ellison for Democratic National Committee chair, saying that he is “a great organizer and the only Muslim member of congress.”

He implored those in blue states to form a “resistance,” and used Roe v. Wade to explain his idea of what he meant by regions of resistance.

“Roe v Wade didn’t happen in a vacuum,” he said. “Because abortion was legal in those two states [New York and California], they helped create a new normal.”

“The next thing that you have to do, is run for office! Yes! You!” Moore said.

Moore was then interrupted by actress Ashley Judd.

“I am a naaaasty woman,” Judd said. “I am not as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in cheeto dust,” she said of President Donald Trump’s appearance.

Moore’s speech was riddled with interesting one-liners, including the following three:

“I only went on two dates in high school!”

“Twenty signatures? I know 20 stoners that will sign anything!”

“God that’s painful to say, Michigan is a red state.”

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