Ivanka Trump‘s neighbor in her tony Kalorama neighborhood doesn’t do Twitter. She also doesn’t do Facebook. And she has no idea what going viral means.
And yet it’s happening.
Cosmopolitan Magazine interviewed Dianne Bruce, who pulled on her fur coat and came out of her home with a wine glass in hand — “probably a very nice Pinot Grigio” — to watch the storm of LGBTQ protestors outside Ivanka’s home Saturday night. The queer dance party was held to express distaste toward President Trump signed an Executive Order to reverse some of former President Obama‘s climate policies. Next thing you know, things got a little violent and Bruce wound up in the Daily Mail. Fur. Wine. Watching dancing fools outside Ivanka’s home. And surely life as she knows it will never be the same.
Screen shot/Twitter.
The whole thing is really dumb if you want to know the truth.
But Cosmo interviewed her. And TIME interviewed her. So here we are.
Cosmo dished highlights on the story. I can’t decide which part is the stupidest.
It truly goes from bad to worse.
(The sub-headlines are mine.)
It was a really chilly evening so the coat choice was obviously fur
“I was having dinner with my husband and my 94-year-old father at my house there on Kalorama. And my husband had mentioned, he said, ‘Oh, you know, we might have a parade or something in the neighborhood. It’s supposed to come to Ivanka’s house.’ So I guess [around] 9ish, we hear music and things, so we go outside. And as I walked out — I mean, it was a chilly evening, so I grabbed my coat. And all the neighbors were standing out on the sidewalk watching, smiling. It was kind of a party atmosphere out there. Some really good dancers. Really, really good dancers. We were all most impressed, thinking about how, gosh, we would never have been able to do that when we were young, much less now.”
As TIME mag put it, “When Bruce heard the crowd marching down her street, she grabbed her fur coat off the bannister and set out with her husband to enjoy the festivities.” She explained to TIME that she thought nothing of putting on her fur “outerwear” because it was chilly outside. (I’m losing brain cells just thinking about this.)
In the TIME piece, Bruce self-describes as a Democrat “who says she has Republican friends.”
My fellow countrymen: the Constitution exists!
“We do have our Constitution and we can do things like that,” she told Cosmo. “As long as it doesn’t get nasty, where people are getting hurt. I was stunned the next day when I saw the neighbor down the street had reacted so violently.”
Ivanka’s neighbor wouldn’t use a Porta Potty if it was the last shitter on Earth
“I was not crazy [about it], because the Obamas had just moved in, and we’d been through all that, with the barrier set up and the Secret Service. And then I thought, Oh, not so close. Can’t they move a little farther away? I don’t know why they chose the house. I think it’s a difficult house to secure. It’s on a corner, it’s very exposed. And they immediately put up tacky saw horses wrapped in fluorescent tape, and crowd barriers. And we weren’t allowed to walk on the sidewalk. You just thought, Are you really that important? And now they’ve just put a tacky Johnny on the Spot [portable toilet] out on the sidewalk of our neighborhood. I guess it’s for the Secret Service. I’m like, Ewww, really?”
She can’t comprehend her newfound fame
“The next day, a friend of mine called and said, ‘Oh, you’re not gonna believe it, but you’re in the Daily Mail!’ And then it’s gone from there. And I think, One silly picture? So I had no idea. It’s so weird, because I don’t even quite understand what the word ‘go viral’ means. Because I don’t do tweet. I don’t do Facebook. I don’t do any of that. I don’t really understand it all. It’s just one very simple picture.”
Thankfully Bruce also resides in London.
So when she tires of the commotion surrounding her new neighbor, Ivanka, she can flee across the pond.