The Mirror

The Insider’s Guide To Anthony Weiner’s Wiener

Anthony Weiner’s man dangle is shockingly “average.”

Despite grand attempts by the former Democratic member of Congress to show off his junk by snapping wang selfies in the House gym and sending them to strange women around the country, two eyewitnesses have told The Mirror that he’s basically “just your average wiener.”

A Mirror spy played on the same hockey team as Weiner in Manhattan. He saw the former mayoral candidate in the locker room.

“Seemed normal,” the source told The Daily Caller. “Wasn’t surprised one way or another.”

When pressed on the matter, the guy said, “That was over a year ago and I wasn’t staring. Did try to get a pic though.”

When further pressed, he said, “Well he’s kinda small and scrawny for one, so probably not that big really. Post hockey, I’ll call it 4″ length and 1″ diameter. Just your average wiener, I suppose. He didn’t have an erection. He’s fit, but skinny as hell.”

Sydney Elaine Leathers, who sexted with Weiner and was among the main reasons why his New York mayoral campaign tanked, blanked when I first asked her about it.

“I don’t really remember lol,” said Leathers, who is now a porn star and has a video cam business. “I don’t think I could even tell too much from the photos he sent. Weird angles. Probably average though?”

Asked if he sent her the underwear picture or the real deal, she replied that he sent her two or three photographs of his popsicle. “No, he sent actual dic pics.”

I wondered what Sydney thought when Weiner first sent her pictures of his wiener.

“At the time it was hilarious but also exciting. And weird. haha,” she said on Twitter DM.

Getting down to the nitty-gritty, Leathers said it was “Average length. Looked small girth-wise, but then again, the photos made it hard to tell. I’m pretty sure one of the photos only showed part of his penis.”

Leathers didn’t recall asking Weiner for pictures of his wiener. It was more like Weiner’s way of escalating the relationship.

“I don’t think I ever asked,” she said. “We had been sexting for awhile and I think he just wanted to take it to the next level maybe?”

Good move, Anthony.

So when it comes to Weiner’s wiener, there are no winners here.