Entertainment

Lena Dunham Needs To Disappear For The Good Of Humanity And Never Return

OPINION
Lena Dunham Getty Images/Alberto E. Rodriguez

Lena Dunham Getty Images/Alberto E. Rodriguez

Jena Greene Reporter
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Hey Lena Dunham,

On behalf of American Airlines, Odell Beckham Jr., your falsely accused rapist “Barry the Conservative,” rescue dogs, and innocent bystanders minding their own damn business everywhere, I am urging you to disappear from society and social media.

Nobody enjoys looking at things like this:

A very cool part of my job is having @francelledaly jovially rub baby oil onto my latex

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

Sure, while having your assistant “jovially rub baby oil onto your latex” might be a perk of your job, it’s probably a pit of that poor woman’s job.

By the way, what IS your job?

You had a mediocre run on your HBO series “Girls.” That’s over now. Go back to whatever cave you came from and hibernate like the swamp monkey you are.

It seems like every other month you’re issuing an apology for fabricating sexist, racist, classist, and anticapitalist SLANDER and ruining lives. Kindly allow me to run through the laundry list of your wrongdoings, you self-righteous bore.

This week, you took a shot at American Airlines. I’m not sure what you were thinking. Granted it was 3:00 a.m., and we know (like every other snowflake socialist) you aren’t used to working hard and losing sleep. So at 3 a.m. you were feeling frisky and decided to tweet out a pretty loaded accusation at American Airlines.

And then this:

#Acrossfromthewinebar – you’re so clever, Lena. Where do you store all that raw talent? Probably underneath that latex bodysuit.

You then took to patronizing American Air:

But American Airlines did their homework; they weren’t about to be taken down by somebody as crooked and entitled as you. They tell The Wrap that your story and timestamps simply don’t add up:

A spokesperson for the airline told The Wrap that they are unable to substantiate the allegations made by the creator and star of HBO’s “Girls.” Dunham tweeted around 3 a.m. ET, said the airline spokesperson, when American’s last departure/arrival at JFK was around 1:45 a.m. ET.

Additionally, a video that Dunham posted around the same time showed that the actress was flying on Delta Air Lines, which according to the spokesperson, doesn’t operate out of Terminal 8, whereas American Airlines does. The two are not connected, argued the spokesperson. You can see a map of the terminals here.

Lena, you’re lucky American Airlines handled this with such class. Because most people wouldn’t have. You’re a fraud. You’re a liar. You’re nothing more than a member of the pretentious, whiney, liberal elite who has taken it upon herself to act as a hall monitor and point out every perceived injustice, regardless of its factual basis.

Also, I’m sorry but what gives you the right to determine what “transphobic talk” is and what isn’t? And since when are you the authority on love and inclusivity?

If love and inclusivity are two principles you stand for, please explain why you tried to take down classmate “Barry the Conservative” at your alma mater, Oberlin College? Given your track record, I can’t imagine why you’d lie about being raped by this Republican for any reason other than the fact that he’s a Republican.

Maybe you’re still drunk and high off of Xanax and cocaine like you were on that fateful night in 2005 but I hope you’re happy that you RUINED THAT GUY’S LIFE. You even took TWO MONTHS after his name was made public to correct your allegation. Your accused attacker HASN’T EVEN MET YOU.

Are you that desperate for attention? Are you that desperate to take down anybody whose political beliefs don’t align with yours that you actually commit libel, ruining your own credibility along with it?

But you haven’t learned, have you? Like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe on a hot August day, you don’t go away.

Last year, you decided to insert yourself into a conversation with the NFL. Your attempted take down on Odell Beckham Jr. turns my stomach.

Let’s review the facts. You wore a TUXEDO to the MET GALA. I mean, does it get any weirder? I’ve seen people look better when they’re literally clothed in meat.

And you were probably insecure about how absurd you looked. And you were pouty that OB Jr. wasn’t giving you attention. So you complained to fellow swamp monkey Amy Schumer about the night.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe you weren’t the victim of this night, as you are so quick to think?

Luckily for Odell, he’s a successful and respected enough guy that you couldn’t ruin his life like you did with poor Barry the Conservative. Other people can vouch for his character. But you didn’t even have the decency to immediately apologize.

I don’t think he was waiting at home by his phone for your apology but still. All you had to say about this when it broke was “Glad the outrage machine roars on though, right @amyschumer?” Grow up.

Your lies transcend race, gender, political party, and even the entire human race.

Lena, how do you sleep at night? You’ve ruined the days and lives of Barry the Conservative, American Airlines, and you targeted an NFL player for no reason.

You’re like those colossal basking sharks off the shore of Australia that move like 20 feet a day but somehow has a mouth big enough to ingest half the ocean.

You’re too edgy for Brooklyn, too liberal for Hollywood, and you aren’t suitable for children.

It’s time you deactivate your Twitter, Instagram accounts and go away before you take any more victims.