Entertainment

Nobody’s Talking About The Man In The Dress At NYFW — But I Will

Fashion designer Christian Siriano has declared dresses are no longer just for thin, 6’3” white women – they’re for curvy girls too.

The designer made waves last year when he proved Leslie Jones was “pretty”  by dressing her at the “Ghost Busters” premiere. The actress complained on Twitter that no designers wanted to dress her when he came to the rescue.

I didn’t think you needed to wear designer clothes to be pretty but that’s for another time.

So here comes Spring 2018 New York Fashion Week. Every designer and celebrity is in Manhattan, eager to gossip about the new looks. Siriano has been fanning rumors that his line will feature curvy girls of all races and sizes. Leslie Jones is seated front row.

And the show begins.

What, what? Did everybody see that? Was that a dude on the catwalk?

Yes. I can confirm that the hairy person in the black dress was a man “named Joel who may have identified as male. Or female. Or neither.”

Whoa whoa whoa. Not so fast there Siriano. I see what you’re trying to do. You’re once again trying to rob curvy girls of their limelight. I thought this show was supposed to celebrate women of all shapes and sizes?

Joel is unfairly stealing the show here. How can we appreciate the girls behind him when all we can focus on is his beauty and bravery? Just look at him work the catwalk. He’s rocking those gold heels like nobody else could.

Putting a man in your fashion show reveals you’re succumbing to the male patriarchy that so desperately needs to be defeated. Chalk this up to another loss for nonwhite curvy girls. Sad.

And one more thing. Calling your collection a “greenhouse” is in poor taste. Don’t you know how bad things are right now? The human race is destroying the ozone layer. And you have the audacity to lightly reference a greenhouse without even considering the greenhouse gas effect? The least you could do was include an ecosexual to make up for it. But no. All we got was Joel.